You could have picked almost any photo of Nicolas Cage.

My brother in law is a Jets fan.  Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices. 

God, I can’t wait for the inevitable “BENEDICT DARNOLD” cover on the NYP

Adam Gase looks like Nicolas Cage as Sean Archer as Castor Troy.

So then why do you keep getting fired?

I remember when the Dolphins hired Adam Gase away from the Bears and us Bears fans were very upset about it because of how great he was with Cutler that year. And then they signed Dowell (not a name) Loggains and he perpetually shit the bed every week while coaching Brandon Marshall, Alshon Jeffrey, and Matt Forte.…

The Jets’ new unis look like how I imagine Axe body spray smells.

In total fairness, I’m pretty sure that based on the drafting history of the Cardinals, “no respect to Larry” is permanently bolted to the door overhang of the GM’s office. It’s Cardinal speak for “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”.

I appreciate it was a mistake but you’ve just given me my new favorite introductory clause.

It was a particularly odd feeling being excited that we’ve reached WYTS season, and then realizing it will be [checks notes (that can’t be right!), double-checks notes - Holy shit!] three weeks before the Browns article.

Goddamn it, I meant no DISRESPECT to Larry.

Like, no respect to Larry, but...at this point, isn’t it kinda his fault?

An Irish Bruins fan? What are the o’dds?

I feel obligated to point out in any article about the Cardinals just how fucking ridiculous the list of quarterbacks that Larry Fitzgerald has played with over the years is. Still, despite this he’s 2nd all time in yards, 3rd (will likely move up to 2nd this season) in receptions, and 6th in TDs. He’s nearly matched…

Bears fans.  I’m dreading how many times he’s going to post the Double Doink video  and I am already preparing a rant.  

Irish guy loves Boston, hates San Francisco, millions SHOCKED. 

It’s always going to be Boston. Doesn’t matter the sport or the year or how good or bad the team was the previous year. Boston fans will be the most aggrieved.

Luke from Ireland is on brand. 

Feels strange to have the first of the series not be the Browns, whose annual display of ineptitude really set the mood for the rest of the season.  There could not be a more boring disaster of a franchise than the Cardinals.  Build a wall around Arizona