Thoughts and Prayers.

It’s really cool that the obvious troll BarackaObama is an approved commenter on Splinter.

You’re laboring under the delusion that the other partner in this tango of two has ever kissed someone or even knows how to.

What in the utter fuck, that’s not queso. That’s DRUNK SOUP.

Quick question, what the fuck is going on here?

Thank you for the serious answer to what I thought was obviously a joke. It works in all the movies!

Since I’m doomed to the greys forever, I’m just going to say it.

Will you eat some jellyfish? Jellyfish will probably be plentiful in the future.

Years from now, we’re going to find out that both Trump and Schultz are characters being played by Nathan Fielder. It’ll be like the Family Guy episode where Brian discovers that Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh are actually Fred Savage in disguise.

This is like a stupid version of 500 Days of Kristin and I’m here for it.

You merely adopted the cold. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn’t feel the warmth until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but burning!

What does Sarah Palin have to do with this?

Don’t disparage dogs by comparing them to Ptomaine Lahren! When my dogs have licked their balls, they’re just trying to be clean. This Tiny Liar person has little purpose for her shenanigans. 

Can we not feature Tacky Lowhen’s views on anything anymore? Not only are they stupid, horrible takes but ... well, actually, that’s probably enough of a reason. But seriously, she doesn’t say shit worth hearing/reading. It’s like “hey, look, that dumb dog is licking his own balls again.”

Good study. Poor conclusion.

Actually, I have a pistol because I am secure in the knowledge I’m more likely to use it on myself or my wife statistically speaking.


Wait....that doesn’t make sense. 

Why expose yourself to that? Why bring that into the equation?

put it in my veins

Nancy totally stole your lunch money, bubbeleh. Sad!