I want me some those khaki boys tho. Yea gumdrops show me that forbidden wasp worship. Goddddd almighty

Freedom pill me Fox daddy. Slather my face with your muscle milk. My levels of free testosterone are sad sad sad, like a vegan liberal’s. Send me to amphetamine god patriot box

Have you ever had a single moment’s thought about her responsibilities? Have you ever thought, for a single solitary moment, about her responsibilities to her minions? Has it ever occurred to you that she has agreed to look after The White House until May the first? Does it matter to you at all that the owners have…

Growing up on TLK and Bambi are why I have forest fire nightmares and never want to love anything that can die. Thanks Disney.

She insisted that she meant “no ill will, no intent whatsoever in my statements.”

Huh this just got interesting for me. Cool now I need a whole new computer ><

What’s your quota for Red Dead articles, and how many times do you have to contractually type Red Dead Redemption 2 in each one? A report promoting Red Dead Redemption 2, about another Red Dead Redemption 2 promotion. This comment is a Red Dead Redemption 2 promotion, too! We are all walking, talking Red Dead…

I support my union 100% and invest heavily in robots stock. It’s about time all workers got guaranteed paternity leave and low-deductible dental

This is pretty easy to pull off. Put the hood in a bag, tell your parents you’re playing the role of a member of the clergy, put the hood on later. Nazi youth 101.

but I do strongly believe that every American family should be developing their own canon of books they read together and repeatedly

Huh? 649,240 people voted for Roy Moore. This is not a made-up number. 

Candidate: Lawyer

Send in the national guard, a big plane from the border to the border. Simple.

Anyway, no offense to Chernow, but Hamilton still fucking sucks.

“Whaaaaaaaat, this is prime real estate. So it needs a few touch-ups, sure, but everything is up to a code and some people are happy to live there.” —Jared Kushner

Trump said that he both “didn’t know her [deputy national security adviser Mira Ricardel] very well,” and that, “she was with me for a long time.” Well, which is it?

Sure, if you count all of the illegal dog votes. You just bring your dog right in, pick up two ballots, vote twice, and California gives you weed brownies. Look at that anti-Republican pup. You’ve provided all of the evidence I need.

If Philly is one thing it’s dedicated

There would be a NE Civil War, resulting in two teams: the New York Lib Muslims and the Protestant Man Football Militia. Tom Brady would be so split. His heritage says Militia, but they only pay in raw deer, so hmmm

Joking about closeted gay men is homophobic. More importantly, straight men have every right to act like scared fancy cats without having their sexuality questioned. Let Us Be Dandy Again 2020