Very few things make me smile uncontrollably. Well done, Ryan Reynolds.

Look, everyone’s a little stressed. There’s a lot of shootings and bombings going on. There’s white nationalist fear-mongering, a non-stop stream of political propaganda and news about a crumbling democracy, and California is on fire again. Everyone copes in their own way and that’s what Twitter is for. We used to…

Oh, I like it. Let the infighting begin. She’s the wrong race! He’s the wrong gender! Too rich! Not rich enough! Too divisive! Not divisive enough! No one will be left untarnished. Time to get real invested in giving strangers power.

Everyone is gray. We were, collectively, not nice enough.

Paradise burning is easily the most 2018 thing to happen so far.

This 100% means they don’t want people looking closely at things.

This just in: A chanting mob passed by outside of my apartment earlier this evening. They were quick about it, it’s cold out. More at 11

On the flip side, a full mass-shooting survival hole-punch can be redeemed for a new car and the title “They who cannot be killed”

I’m pretty sure she’s much healthier than I am, and ribs grow back. I assume she’s under the care of the world’s #1 doctor team, like in House, except every single person is a brilliant drug addict.

Ooof, Antifa would not be welcome on these new polite insightful message boards. How rude! Show some respect, Antifa. For shame.

lol i cried and it sucked

Oh we’re just getting started. It’s time for Intern Press Circuit. “Intern, what was it like when Jim Acosta accosted ya?”

Don’t forget the anti-Semitic caricatures in multiple campaign ads against Jewish Democrats. https://www.jta.org/2018/11/06/news-opinion/politics/jewish-candidates-clutching-cash-theme-appears-gop-attack-ads-6-states

Now it’s Mueller time. Best case scenario exposes the network of money laundering and corruption that includes the Trump family, the NRA, and Russian oligarchs.

I mean like, she doesn’t have to try very hard to spin this in a good light. There was no Democratic wash. Everything turned out about how everyone thought, without too many surprises. I’m bored. Where’s that caravan at

These were the kids who got beaten over the head with their own TI-83s. No one gives a shit about your snake game Theodore

This one is confusing. White guys in scarves are going to attack a family conga line? Next target...searching? Do they have an automated terror system? Not very persuasive.

Yea it turns out only one of our senators is up for re-election? And that’s Bernie Sanders lol. He will age to death in office. The governor’s race isn’t that close, and Phil has been fine the last couple years so whatever.

At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.

All this talk about Wisconsin and the Pennsylvania, where are the articles about my tiny inconsequential state? I demand attention. Ah whatever, Ill just write in “Cthulhu, The Sleeper of R’lyeh” for everyone