The rest must be reunited by July 26.

Don’t get me wrong, my sympathy for rich people is extremely limited. I think wealthy bored kleptomania is like, an actual thing tho, and mocking someone’s psychological problems just seems petty to me. 

Hold on to your hats, folks:

“I don’t think at the federal level there’s much that we can do other than appropriate funds,”

This is what happens when you have a state-sanctioned white nationalist propaganda network that uses fear to generate ad revenue. 

I can’t seem to decipher meaning from that collection of words, but I am concerned by the use of “white person,” “these people,” and “all they are.” Very troubling.

lol I like how you took a mocking tone while writing about a suicidal veteran with ptsd. Guess Mental Health Week is over.

lol “underdressed” for a steakhouse

lol oh shit she was once an actual professor? It must be tough going from a real university to a fake university established to rewrite history for idiots

“Collectivist Soviet-era thought bent on eradicating laissez faire economics is increasingly reminiscent of our autistic fetus genocide.” —Fake George Will

Folks aren’t desperately calling their representatives to crack down on jersey knockoffs.

lol make fun of one sentient beard and suddenly everyone’s an expert on incest-semantics

lol another shining example of the master race

Yesss I can almost feel the reaper himself touching my skin. Do you get to know the names of the victims of your deathwatch? I will pay anything. Like, more than $227, if you can believe that. 

Yesss I can almost feel the reaper himself touching my skin. Do you get to know the names of the victims of your…

Ha ha ha all the Timothys and Johnathans (no offense, Paul) are just jealous they weren’t named fuckin’ Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. I am dreadfully afraid that the communists are after my fluids, but a person with a name like that deserves elected royalty. This is how I choose my vote.

Hmm it sounds like Maxine Waters has struck again

gender is a construct

His wife once made him to to his nephew’s bat mitzvah in Virginia, or in his words, “Had t’go to Queersville for the Devil’s BBQ.”