Oh girl you best believe that is exactly what I do. Probably why I am still grey. Lemme know if you need like a grey mafia or something we are ready.

So. Much. FLOUNCING.

Cool mom when you're 40: I like that sweat suit. Those pants look comfortable.

Okay also I had no idea what 75 was, and figured it must be something some what serious to incite a rage quit, so I scrolled back up to see.

BECAUSE I AM VERY THIRSTY. DID YOU EVEN READ THE ARTICLE.

Lmao it's so true. The guys in my creative writing courses were stick figures draped in flannel and had mustaches glued to their thin lips.

YEAH JEZEBEL STAFF, CHECK YOUR SPONGE AND TWITTER PRIVLEGE AT THE DOOR.

New Hallowe'en costume idea? Sexy Bee Leopard. Rawrbzzz

levels of gray thirst:

Like he'd get away with showing up after he'd RSVP'd "no".

Thanks for the great year! Sundays have been terrible; so close to BCO, but still so far away...

This needs a new and improved headline, "Inconsiderate wedding couple intent on ruining military golfer's weekend thwarted by hero president!"

I say it was a plot by the best man and maid of honor as revenge for all the shit they've been put through for the last six months.

The guy that called and argued with me for five minutes that we were, in fact, a doctor's office and not a pizzeria.

Was your friend at a vegan restaurant when that happened?

If the server is repeatedly explaining to you that the thing does not have shellfish in it, or in fact any kind of meat or ingredient related to meat, and you're refusing to believe that server, my sympathy ceases.

Look man, sometimes I just want some pasta and not have to break out the fucking flour and eggs.

Read more closely. They won an Ig Nobel prize, big difference.

Actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism

I actually find the "throat" ones the most horrifying, because they can so quickly become fatal.