Of course it wasn’t. Was Kaepernick the best quarterback in the league? Probably not. Was he miles ahead of fucking Brian Hoyer who the 49ers replaced him with? Fuck yes he is. And Jacoby Brisset, and DeShone Kizer, and all the other shitty QBs that following season whose names I had to look up because they were so…

Every day since 2016 I’ve thought for sure something I was reading was from the Onion. It’s never The Onion.

AKA advertising for my company. Please let me cut your face. PLEASE!

The only good thing about this situation is that that poor child is now far away from these awful people. 

The world would be a better place if every parent taught their children the phrases “fuck racists” and “fuck the police” from an early age. I support Boyega bringing that to the house of mouse, and fans as young as 4. 

Theydidn’t. It’s been available and every few years someone new “discovers” it and brings it up again. This isn’t the first time it’s been through the news cycle.

It was definitely considered very, very, bad in 2000. In 2000, I remember going to a friend’s house and she wanted to watch this old Fred Astaire musical called Holiday Inn. I’d never heard of it but agreed to watch it, and I distinctly remember being horrified by one of the numbers in the movie that was done in…

Forget fired. How is this asshole not under arrest?

More people should take this seriously.

Is it weird that I sometimes fantasize about divorcing my husband just so that we can share custody of our kid and I can have some alone time? Like my husband and I can still hang out if we’re divorced, I just want like 2-3 days a week where nobody wants anything from me, and I don’t have to justify my decisions to…

Nobody has died yet, but I’m not optimistic.

I have exceptionally good insurance so actually having a baby (easy, vaginal delivery) only costs me my $500 deductible, but it’s definitely a factor that goes into planning if you’re going to have a kid for most Americans.

THIS IS WHAT I’VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD. The whole “thing” about that baby was that she aged at like 5x normal human speed. Just hire a gorgeous toddler as the 2 day old baby and it would have been fine. No creepy CGI or animatronic doll needed.

I’m not sure they’ve ever even SEEN an actual baby.

“And other factors”

That’s great (except the bills part). She’s pretty much back to normal (after therapy) except occasionally, like you, she forgets words, or does stuff like putting the milk in the pantry instead of the fridge, or the cereal in the fridge instead of the pantry. Brains are weird.

Can’t wait for Tiffany Trump, MD, PhD, DDS. 

So true. A friend of mine had a stroke last year at 36, and she didn’t have any slurred speech or facial drooping like what you usually expect with a stroke, she started stuttering and she’s never had a stutter before. Hope you’re doing better!

Not filler, but maybe botox. Bad botox reactions can sometimes cause unilateral or bilateral ptosis, and there’s nothing you can do until it wears off. It could also be that he’s really, really tired. My eyelid starts twitching when I haven’t slept enough. That dude has too many jobs. He needs a break, he looks awful. 

Get out of here Grandma, its fine. I’ll drop off your groceries and pharmacy order for Pop-Pop around 7.