She killed it performing at the Valentino fashion show last week. The clothes were boring, but she was transcendent. I feel like she’s smart enough to know that agreeing to be a backup dancer, which would definitely be picked up on by the media, would be a better fuck you to the Grammys than not performing at all.…

At least once a week I forget that Deadspin was brutally murdered, beheaded, and defenstrated by that herb, Jim Spanfeller. Every time that same, stupid, headline pops up I emit an audible “fuck”.

I want to stitch that shit on a pillow.

I was going to say, there’s an anal beads joke in here somewhere. Probably in Julianne’s butt. 

Reminds me of my favorite joke:

Three men walk into a bar because it was set so low. 

Natural selection is a weird, cruel, mistress. 

I’m not surprised, I’m not disappointed. 

Agreed. Before having a kid I never ordered from delivery services because it always adds like an extra $20 to your total. Way cheaper to just go grab it myself. After having a kid, I hate picking up food because it means getting on jackets and shoes, and getting into carseats, and getting out of the car, and…

I’m like 95% sure it’s my husband’s friend Neil. He looks exactly like that. 

Right? I think every person I know whose parents were still together have AT LEAST one story about walking in on their parents fucking. Are we prosecuting every mom in America now for not having dead bolts on their bedroom doors (please, bible thumpers, do not take this as a suggestion)?

That makes A LOT more sense, and is even more baffling as to why she’s being charged. Thanks.

It’s fine. It actually probably the most ok shoe ever featured on “Is this shoe ok?”

This is all beyond awful, and fuck that judge, and everyone else involved in prosecuting this case, but I just can’t can’t get past imagining a time where I would want to hang drywall while topless.

Ba-dum-tshhh.

People have been pointing out typos on Jezebel for at least the last 10 years. I wouldn’t expect it to change. 

Which is annoying when you live in the middle in Seattle, and you say you’re going to Vancouver for the weekend, the inevitable next question is “Canada or Portland?”

Probably not kidding, it’s possible she wasn’t even born yet when Diana died, so doesn’t know. I remember how shitty everyone was about that relationship though. 

Fortunately cooked dairy does go spur the way fresh dairy does, but the tomato smell got pretty rancid over the next couple of weeks. There’s just no way to get all of that out of fabric. Ever.

Unfortunately I don’t think this was a firmly held belief of hers that food doesn’t expire, she was just not very smart (despite being the director of a large department. She was eventually fired for incompetence). I had to be like Michelle, soy milk is just like dairy milk, once you open it you’ve really only got…