I don’t either, because from a dating standpoint he creeps me the fuck out, and I wouldn’t let him anywhere near my vagina. I would drink heavily with him though.

This makes my 80's child heart happy.

Yesssssssssss. This is every problem I have with this show, summed up so succinctly. 

Kanye is Sean Hannity.

I don’t understand how women get so upset over men who are CLEARLY not worth it. My parents got divorced 27 years ago after 12 years of marriage when my dad cheated on my mom with my now step mother, and my mom is STILL mad about it. My dad wasn’t worth all the anger, and neither is Tristan. Girl, Jordyn did you a…

Because the older lesbians tip well, but probably aren’t going to grab their ass.

Lesbians only make out with women to get attention from men. There’s no such thing as a real lesbian, silly.

Okay, probably fake. But what do I know? I’ve never met a liger. Maybe they can do magic?

Also with PJ Masks, it’s because of super powers, not insane funding schemes, so I can totally understand that.

The other one that I mostly like but sometimes yell at is Bubble Guppies, for their sheer misrepresentation of physics.  I mean, you’re underwater and you’re a fish, you can swim. There’s no way you can fall…

This is the best fan fic I’ve read all year. Congrats.

I would take you to all the parties, because that shit is hilarious.

Yikes.

Ligers are also real. I’m not fucking with you. They’re real. Except for that whole skills in magic part, that part is fake. 

Absolutely, no way she isn’t buying every election. Same with Mayor Humdinger, no way a guy that creepy and evil avoids jail time over and over again without some serious cash backing him up. 

This rant sounds like me getting really angry while watching Paw Patrol with my 3 year old. Seriously, how is the Paw Patrol funded? I mean, I can look past the talking dogs, but what I can’t look past is the massive cost of having a team of specially trained rescue dogs on call 24 hours a day. The Paw Patrol has some…

THIS. Just because said shitty dog belongs to a Trump it’s being cancelled? Biden can do some real damage in this country, that dog is just going to hump white people’s legs. How can you vote for anything but Biden?

I wanted to listen to “Remix to Ignition” one last time as much as the next person, but I didn’t do it. Get it together people.

Faux fur is just terrible for the environment. If you really want to wear fur that much, go to the thrift store and buy some. Nobody new dies, and tons of fine particles of shed plastic acrylic fiber don’t end up in the ocean. 

Jumbo Herbs.

Jumbo Herbs.

Mine was “Jim Spanfeller is a Herb.”