That’s funny, mentioning the Jenner/Kardashians is banned in my house.

This is the only Sweet Valley High book I care about. I reread it every few years around Christmas time.

Kylie Jenner is too old for Drake.

* Clicks “Add to Watchlist”*

WAAY hotter.

I said “real boy” as a nod to Pinocchio, but the ghost is most definitely a man. A very, very, hot man.

Deport another creepy, wealthy, powerful, white man? Fat chance. He’s much more likely to invite him to dinner.

If I chip in $50 to get this movie made, can I get an associate producer credit?

It’s so bad, and so good. The whole time you’re just thinking, so when does the ghost fucking start? And the ghost dude is VERY hot. There are suspenders involved. 

I went to a talk about sustainability in fashion with the CEO of Armoire a few weeks ago, and she was talking about how they source clothing from boutique designers because they’re usually better quality, and last longer than manufactured clothes. After the clothes are past their rentable life, but still in good…

I’m in the middle of watching The Spirit of Christmas on Hulu, and it is equally terrible and amazing. It’s about a hard working lawyer who gets put in charge of executing a will to sell an old, haunted, Inn before the end of the year to guarantee herself a promotion, but she finds out the ghost that haunts the Inn…

Don’t forget to tip your waiter.

How else are you supposed to get the 19 year old models to leave the rainforest?

Why would you spend $148 a month renting cheap crap that still isn’t going to fit right, or hold up in the wash, when you could spend $1 more per month and rent designer, higher quality clothes from a company like Armoire? H&M’s clothes still fall apart after 5 washings, it doesn’t matter if one person wore it 5…

You clearly have not met my husband’s best friend, whose farts are both loud and vile. It’s not endearing, and 100% explains why he’s single and almost 50. 

Kim Jong’s Toddler woke up with a sore throat and fever, so instead of going to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving, we’re quarantined at home with my nervous husband hovering and freaking out because kidlet doesn’t want to eat. It’s  going to be be a looooong day.

Or the bullshit of being the scapegoat to cover up your husband’s fallout with his brother. Woman deserves an award, or at least a spa day.

I don’t even want to know, certainly not enough to have “Youtuber cat anus” fuck up my targeted ads for the next 6 months.