I always feel like I’m still in my early 20s, until I actually hang out with someone in their early 20s, and then I’m like Nope. Definitely 36.

I think it has more to do with him being English, than you being young. I barely know who he is and I’m 6 years older than you. The only song of his I know is this one, and it’s awful. I don’t get the hype.

They don’t have scan and go, but the costco by me now has 4 self serve checkout lines, which are almost always empty because most people just buy too much shit there to make checking it out yourself appealing. I only ever see people buying like 2 things go through it.

They don’t have scan and go, but the costco by me now has 4 self serve checkout lines, which are almost always empty…

I don’t know about this jackass in particular, but DOs can, in fact, be specialists. I work with a few OB/GYNs who are surgical DOs, and who are quite proficient at their job.

Nope, real. Who knew?

I appreciate how casually she says that her friends have a fashion line called Rodarte, like the same way I would say “My cousin’s friend, she sells Mary Kay.”

Why do guys who look like this think they’re entitled to as much pussy as they want?

Maybe it’s step 1 of Melania’s escape plan?

It’s not upcycling if you take a brand new, perfectly usable sandal, and turn it into hot garbage that makes it look like you got your foot caught in a diving flipper. Not okay.

Monica Lewinsky would never brag about being seen near the president. I think the Leopard is Omarosa.

This is like, the healthiest Lindsay has looked in a long time. Am I wrong here in thinking that maybe the kid is going to be okay?

No, but I have seen his penis and I forgot what we were talking about.

I don’t think it’s called retiring when you get fired, and nobody else wants to hire you.

This isn’t a new thing. I remember all the shit that Gabby Douglas got at the Olympics, mostly from older black women, for not having perfectly styled hair. Girl is doing a back flip on a piece of wood 4 inches wide and landing on one foot, who gives a fuck what her hair looks like?

The crazy thing is I’m a millennial. An older millennial, but definitely still a millennial. 

No it’s not. We’re talking about 2001, not 1951. I was 18 in 2001, and I remember going to a friend’s house after school and she wanted to watch this old Bing Crosby movie, “Holiday Inn”. Towards the end of the movie, there’s a minstrel show where all the performers are in blackface, and I remember even then, WAY…

Is your mom my step mom? Chris?

My favorite ever. About once a month when I’m feeling down, I watch it to cheer myself up.

Trying to fight a pitcher for striking you out is so stupid. That’d be like trying to punch Tom Brady every time he throws a touchdo— Never mind. I thought about it, and I like this idea.

My son is only 3 so I haven’t had to actually worry about it yet, but I’ve definitely thought about how I can change careers so that I can home school and work from home, just so I don’t have to worry about this bullshit. It’s fucking terrifying.