By "the books" I'm assuming you mean the first one which, yes, was hard to get into. He went on and on about the family, blah, blah, blah. But once I got into it I couldn't put any of them down. In fact I couldn't start one unless I had enough to time to finish it all at once. Maybe they aren't for you but I…

Who's the Interview of the Month? Bill Cosby?

C'mon craig. Practice what I'm sure you've preached:

you know if i didn't know any better, I'd guess that Kim, in fact, ENJOYS falling asleep with her makeup on.

Every time I see the name Taylor Kinney, my mind goes to Kerri Kenney. I prefer my alternate universe where Lady GaGa marries Deputy Trudy Wiegel.

Because Sarah bound her from doing harm. Harm against other people and harm against herself.

I did. and metallic stretch pants. and a gold cape! and glasses! and lots of makeup. I did a lot of high kicks.

Please tell me you wore a gem sweater.

After I saw a Wes Anderson movie in college, I started being a pretentious ass.

I remember a classmate of mine didn't come to class for several weeks and it turned out she had been a victim of a serial rapist. One of our mutual friends described her experience with the words "assault does not begin to cover what he did to her." When I saw her after those weeks her face was still bruised. Those…

All right, I hate 50 Shades of grey, and I love pissing off my friends who are fans by reminding them how problematic the whole series is, but come on. That's like blaming alcohol or short skirts. He raped her because he's a rapist who was not brought up well and us taking out his issues on defenseless women.

God, I feel so sympathetic to those who've worked in movie theaters, especially if they were the cleaning staff afterwards. My friend had once found a used condom between one of the seats. Not to mention on another occasion she had to kick a couple out who were going at it during the credits...

I always wanted a Power Wheel Car as a kid. All the kids on my street had them and would drive up and down the street, I was so jealous. That is all I would talk about for what felt like years. I was obsessed. Well one time at Sam's Club they had one on display, a pink barbie jeep. So I got up and promptly told my…

I'm sure there are better or more interesting stories, but I immediately thought of how fond I was of giving my stuffed animals "haircuts." And not all at once. I would snip the hair every so often. A bright green triceratops was a favorite victim of mine. I'm pretty sure my mom never caught me either.

As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

Oh shit we got a historical fight in the comments

I created an account JUST to reply to this.

The scene: Horrible abusive relationship. The inevitable morning after the all too familiar horrific night before. I am packing my bags. Unfortunately not for the first time, and not for the last.

I came back from the doctor and said I probably couldn't get pregnant without a lot of help - help I've decided I didn't want. He hugged me, said it was OK, and asked me to marry him. Right there, in the hallway, with a litter box not 2 feet away. I said no.