Psh, I can always tell. I got an uncle who works at Nintendo.

As if I didn't have reason enough to love Gilbert Gottfried.

"Hey, we have this hot car, we're calling it the SS, let's style it like a 6/5ths Malibu."

"Hey, let's cancel the Grand National."

"Save up to 10% or more on gas!"

Redemption doesn't mean pretending it didn't happen. Redemption is the fact that he's no longer in jail and is playing Major League Baseball. Redemption doesn't mean that people don't have the right to talk about it, and it certainly doesn't mean that somebody has the right to dictate whether other people talk about…

The problem with the people that keep pointing out Lueke's history is that it ignores the possibility for redemption despite a checkered past. People make mistakes and they grow as a result of it. Yes, it's an ugly truth. Nobody is going to deny it. But the fact remains: many people have gone on from being members of…

My dad started making meth and bought me a sweet Challenger SRT8 with the profits. My mom was pissed because she thought it was too flashy, so she made him take it back and got me a light blue PT Cruiser instead. Buh...buh...buh...bullshit.

All they have to do is get rid of the notrils and lips. and BAM a million times better.

8.) 85 MPH Speedometers

Thankfully there were enough shots of orange Charger sliding across generic unpaved Georgia road with two big rooster tails of dirt and gravel, soundtracked by Chrysler V8 and banjo music to make up for those lame in car scenes. The best ones though were when they left in sloppy or miscalculated maneuvers, like the…

I appreciated the amazing ability of the drivers to not have to squint without a face shield.

No, you didn't.

Look, I came here for an argument!

This would make for many events where I tell my car, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER!"

So a souvenir if you don't get a job? Shit be rare!

For me, it will always be "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from the Nutcracker Suite. I mostly played Tetris on the NES and am immune to this "other" Tetris song.

If it's paid for and you're expecting [expensive] kids, getting a new car payment on top of that seems highly irresponsible. SMH. It's a four-door. Toddlers are small. Make do.

I believe that reason is called "sex" but I could be wrong.

everyone became a hipster, a model, or a hipster model.