CHUCK NORRIS FOR PRESIDENT 2012
Craig T. Nelson could be his running mate.
Jon Voight could be his Secretary of State.

Wouldn't the real news story have been if they seached Willie Nelson's tour bus, and they DIDN'T find marijuana?

Meh, let the Yankee$ have him…. He'll be old and worn out, most likely, by the time that contract is up. Not everyone can be Nolan Ryan. And Texas doesn't need to get caught in the suckhole of a giant contract. We all remember how well that worked out last time. Thanks, fucking A-Rod.

Stargate is a perfectly good time-waster.

I'm roughly same age as Cobain. I was getting married later that week, so I was very busy doing all the myriad pre-wedding stuff to keep my future bride happy, so I didn't have a lot of time for reflection until later. I do remember saying, "Well, I guess everyone can see that he was serious now, and it wasn't just…

I like when shows try to out-boob each other. Also, sorry, Owl for posting right below you. I mean no harm!

I have seen "The Conqueror". It's ripe for a "I Watched This on Purpose"-Classic Edition. John Wayne as Genghis Khan, but he still talks like John Wayne! But we'll make his eyes "Oriental" and darken his skin! And we'll film on the Nevada Test Site to simulate Mongolia! How could this not work?

And the fact that everyone smoked like chimneys in the days of "The Conqueror" had nothing to do with the cast getting cancer.

Which Twin Cities?
Fargo-Moorhead?
Winston-Salem?
Buda-Pest?
Bryan-College Station?

*You're. I hate it when people do that.

Death By Crocodile
Always seemed a bad, painful, horrifying way to go. There's that moment of panic, then lots of excrutiating teeth puncturing your flesh all the way to the bone, then the horror of realizing your in a vice-like grip and being drug under water to drown. Then once you come to terms with that, they…

Dallas
I know the show is actually filmed in Dallas, but I can tell it's on a budget as they take absolutely zero advantage of this. All of their locations are completely generic and could take place anywhere, a suburb here, a rundown warehouse there, interior of a bar, generic police station sets, etc. Walker,…

Dallas
I know the show is actually filmed in Dallas, but I can tell it's on a budget as they take absolutely zero advantage of this. All of their locations are completely generic and could take place anywhere, a suburb here, a rundown warehouse there, interior of a bar, generic police station sets, etc. Walker,…

Roger that, Lieutenant!

Claire
I usually watch the show for Gloria scenes, like any other red-blooded hetero male, but Claire was looking exceptionally hot tonight. I don't know if she slightly changed her hairstyle or what, but it was doing it for me.

OK, I'm going for it…
[Looks in mirror.]

The kid that plays Luke is a pretty good physical comic. Remember last year when he ran into the sliding glass door behind the (much smarter) dog?

Another Video Game Adaptation
I like "Tempest" the arcade game, with the little creepy-crawlies climbing toward you while you zapped them with lasers or electricity. This looks to be a good adaptation, but how come no one's climbing? Or shooting lasers?

Ahnold
If he's going to prison in California, can't he just get the Governor to commute his sentence. Or, better yet, the Governor could team up with Jesse Ventura and Carl Weathers and bust him out of that prison.

Zombie Jim Varney FTW.