I find her weirdly rectangular smile (or approximation of same?) in the twitter pic creepier than the image of her walking Tyson Beckford on a leash. Not to say that it isn't creepy, but that smile sets a high bar.

It’s too bad that your Mom isn’t into the whole walking you down the aisle thing, but maybe it’s worth asking again? I had to show PUA-levels of tenacity to get my Mom to agree (although hopefully not PUA levels of douchey entitlement), but it was totally worth it. Those few minutes in the back of the church with her,…

My friend and his husband both carried bouquets at their wedding, and it totally worked. They each designed a bouquet for the other, and exchanged them at the same time they exchanged rings.

Torn between an amazing stepdad and a patchy biodad who nonetheless would feel slighted if I chose my stepdad, I asked my Mom to walk me down the aisle. She was hesitant at first, because "tradition" and "what will people think." But, for the one and only time, I played the “Bride’s special day” card and she agreed.…

I kind of love it - the toss at our wedding devolved into a legit rugby brawl (my uni team mates plus my husband’s farmhand cousins - yowza), complete with complicated lifts and called plays. It was a thing of beauty. The teenaged cousin who ended up with the bouquet then got carried around on the shoulders of 20 or…

Yogi for the win! And you got some height on that toss! Brava.

My husband tells me he’s a lot less anxious when he doesn’t have to wear pants... what’s okay in your living room isn’t always okay in a public space, and most people get that. I feel for this lady, as her life seems very tough, but that doesn’t mean that you get to take large and potentially dangerous animals into…

"awesome guy" is an extremely strange capper to this unsettling description. How is this kind of brokering not deeply illegal? Or is it, and this guy just hasn't been caught?

Right? I definitely remember a period of my grade school life where I pretended to be a pony pretty much all the time, including in public (to my mother’s chagrin). I had no idea that this was a viable fetish or sexual path for my post-pubescent years, I just thought it would be cool to be a pony. I think most kids…

He has a variety of infuriating pronunciations, including the Bobby Flay method, as well as my personal (least) favourite “Chai-poe-tull.” Ugh. He was thusly antagonizing me in a restaurant once when our Mexican server scowled and said “your wife is right to be glaring at you.” Big tip for that guy, who understood my…

This is how you explain it to your kids: “Some people think different stuff is fun. I think she’s pretending to be a doggie. Want a pretzel?” The End.

It's like an amalgam of Ellie Goulding and... who? Charli XCX? La Roux? I can't place it, and it's driving me crazy. I don't hate it, but it will drive me insane...

I almost clapped when I got to your final line. As soon as I read “a mother of 12 living children” I was like “Oh, she shoved that egg in her pussy to frighten her husband off. Smart, girl, smart.”

Actually, as soon as I wrote that, I realized 1) It’s actually cyanide that smells like bitter almond (nerditry fail) and 2) way to out yourself as the Viper of Dorne, dummy.

Seconded on the crapweaselly-ness. And yet, if she's still hanging out 10 years later all like "Maybe one day...?" (which I don't entirely buy, but just for the sake of argument) that's kind of on her, too. Move on, dude! Let's play the game where we pick "get her groove back" partners for Mindy Kaling. My first pick…

“Does this spinach artichoke dip taste like almonds to you?” “Maybe just eat it, babe. Gawd.”

I take your point that the benefit of the doubt is likely not applied across all racial categories. I would like to believe that most people who would be laughing if it were Chris Pratt would also be laughing if it were Anthony Anderson (per your example above) or Donald Glover, but obviously that’s not the world we…

I had a friend in middle school who begged her parents for this surgery for years, but in our part of the world (crunchy, affluent metro of a large Canadian city in the 90s) the probably would have been reported to the authorities for child abuse via validation of conventional standards of beauty. So they stood their…

That gave me a sad. Hopefully she at least feels better, Jillian Michaels style, even if no one else is ever likely to notice. Makes you realize how many of the traits we're critical of in ourselves other people have never noticed.

Same. Farts are generally hilarious, and I will never not laugh when my husband finds a way to randomly exhibit a “fruitbowl,” because I have the comedic sensibilities of an 11 year old boy. Where I get confused and annoyed is when men try to make the funny thing sexy without an acceptable refractory period. I can’t…