They're both born at the same time -hence the statement that one twin was born slightly premature and the other right on time. I believe the greatest disparity in fetal age for twins was 2 months, so although the younger baby would still be considered premature, both would still be viable and have a good chance of…

That's wild (although your aunt and uncle were probably like, "fuck"). Technically, the gestation of embryos from two different menstrual cycles is called "superfetation" and it's believed to be statisitcally more rare than superfecundation. You cousins are like little unicorns!

That's the dream! Also... RX-7 pics? I am living vicariously through you, since my husband was a total stick in the mud about using my WRX as our wedding car which would have been awesome and since it was our wedding day I would have let him drive and everything. Instead, we took his Dad's mustang (basic) and had to…

RIP. I wrecked my Corrado myself, thank you very much, but it still sucked.

Same. Although in our house it's more like "Look at my amazing, beautiful child... I should stop him from hitting the cat with a stick." Like, these are the things I think about. Who has time to bathe in the glory of all the truths they do know about raising their kids? I'm busy trying to figure out the unknown…

Always glad to meet another "looks good on paper" parent - hah! But, yes, parents (our parents, anyway) are amazing. I was genuinely feeling bad about the fact that my Mom bought my son all his new summer shoes the other day (because awful me hadn't noticed he had completely outgrown his old ones), until she informed…

Yup. I just found out that a video of a talk I gave last month (definitely did not know I was being taped) was featured in our company's monthly newsletter. I did not get past the first 2 minutes. Why did no one tell me I sound like an irate goose? I will dream of this tonight.

I hear you. And I mean, on paper, we appear to have our shit together, but it's still almost a complete crapshoot 90% of the time. We were married 4 years when I got pregnant, had decent jobs, a paid off car, and a house - sounds good, right? Except that we still ended up living with my parents for the first 6 months…

I'll just say that Allen's "before we get married we need to" list looks a lot like my "ideally, maybe before we die we should" list. I have been married for 7 years, and we have a kid. There is no perfect time!

Gross. My cousin dated (then married) a guy who made the mistake of requesting a stirred, bourbon-based old fashioned at our wedding right next to my uncle (nevermind that the rye-based version was on the signature cocktails menu). That was 7 years ago, and I'm pretty sure dude's still hearing about it every time we…

It's crazy how these kind of trips contain multitudes, and can act on your beliefs and desires in such unexpected ways. A two week road trip can make you half in love with someone with whom you know you have no future, while the same trip can make you seriously consider punting the person you've pledged to spend your…

So, wait - what do they do with the sugar? Just let it... sit there? Do they sprinkle it on top like baristas? I don't know why, but I'm taking this very personally. I need to know!

"My geode fart joke must be acknowledged!"

The "becoming a Mommy" trope grosses me out too, because it's so nakedly about the woman's transformation into a different (better? debatable. more fully realized? same.) version of herself. Like, fuck the kid, right? Because I'm a pedantic asshole, whenever people say "when you become a mother" I reply with "when…

Slight edge to Michael Caine and Chris Rock on the humblebrag front, for reasons of underlining their 0wn contributions to shared projects with the people they're profiling. But these are mild cases.

I mean, it's right there in the name. My granddad taught me to make these when I was about 7 and could "finally" reach the bar - "only cocktail you'll ever need, kid!" I'm definitely guilty of majorly side-eyeing anyone who is super eager for the world to know that it's been their jam since 2nd year uni, or whatever.

My sister in law has very similar posting habits, and no update filters in terms of who sees what. Our entire family, spread out in every corner of a giant-ass country, are all on facebook. Her grandparents are on facebook (pretty much the only reason we are still on - when Grandma chooses a social networking…

The worst is when someone posts one of those and tags you in the comment - this happens to me a ton, and it drives me nuts. Please do not assume that because I also made people out of food and hormones that we have the same feelings about it. Just don't. I am willing to buy that motherhood is a complete and utter game…

Seconded, but also... Is this a fucking "humblebrag"? Truly? Is having a pet named after you now something that we slyly drop in conversation, like the fact that we drank old fashioneds before Mad Men thank you very much?

FWIW, that's pretty much a copy/paste of my "reasons for getting hitched" list, and I'm of the "one dick 'til I die" persuasion (no judgement on the poly folks, it just ain't for me). A desire to prevent my husband from fucking anyone else didn't really enter into it. And really, marriage is no better at ensuring…