Oh, John, you’re such a towel.

Its a good thing, bitch!

is that the one that involves the Red Hood Gang? Cause that’s the origin Ive always accepted and liked the most.

These millennials are smarter than the average bear. They swiped my pic-a-nic basket!

As great as this piece is I couldnt stop thinking “why cant I find love like that?” the entire read.

It must be a slow day in the office if this gemstone is getting pulled out, again.

While i disagree 100% that a hot dog is a sandwich, I cant stop myself from agreeing with you... especially if they have powdered sugar and honey drizzled onto them

Coming next month from The Takeout: Is a hot dog a doughnut?

We all know the old saying. Tekashi’s days are officially numbered.

Ha! She’ never gonna see that money again!

This right here is why I’m proud to be American.

I think I’ll stick with the apps that are free. They may have microtransactions but at least I wont feel like I wasted 5 bucks a month on a bunch of mobile games I’d never play to begin with.

If by evolution you mean act like a throbbing asshole towards a person you supposedly loved, then sure Miley, do your thing

This article took a dark turn and I love it! I would totally hang out with Renaissance Celebi

Didnt she state prior that she could use an assortment of cloud formations but always chose the same ones? Sounds like a free filter pack is about to become monetized

Right, because the way to look like less of a racist asshat is to rescind your donations.

I just want to know when the hell did Uncle Pennybags become Mr. Monopoly?

Fun Fact: Antiques Roadshow is still on and its awesome.

if only we could get the government to legalize ranch

This article is a complete farce for leaving out Sour Patch Kids