When I answer “New York” and people say “no, but where are you from originally” or “but where are your parents from” they are questioning my nationality, tho. And that’s almost everybody.

I always try “so how long have you lived in [wherever we are}?”

 It’s a fair question to ask, especially in a getting-to-know-you small talk kind of a situation, but to avoid the mistaken perception that you are “othering” someone I’d suggest framing the question just slightly differently. What I say to people is “So, are you from Minneapolis (or whatever your current location is)…

Okay, this is where you maybe need a little history lesson. Back in the 1950s, when the Shah was still relatively new in his office as monarch and the country was what we’d more or less consider a constitutional democracy like Great Britain, there was an Iranian Prime Minister named Mohammad Mosaddegh. He was an…

No, dipshit, I’m blaming Dolt 45 for trying to undermine the Iran nuclear treaty yet again, and in the process, giving the Ayatollah an excuse to de-legitimize the protests. He seized on a cheap opportunity to waggle his piggly lil dick at Obama, at the likely expense of actual lives in Iran.

I really love that movie. Did you see the sequel?! Campier, but I still loved it.