If somebody said “just kidding, this is some bad fan-fiction from some loser message board” I’d totally believe it

Devers delights denizens, dutifully delivers dingers, defense and depth...

So much for the tolerant cleft

White Sox Owner to GM: We must be rid of the white walkers

I’ll still opt for the “roided up too much, his body broke down because of it.” option, only now adding “causing him to develop a massive addiction to PK’s.”

Judging by his drug cocktail, I take “unexpected reaction” to mean “not dead”.

isnt the Globocorpohomojudeoapua’a the state fish of hawaii?

Do they pay a living wage? Asking for disenfranchised millenials everywhere.

The Globo-Corpo-Homo-Judeo establishment. Honestly that sounds fantastic. I want in. I’m going to start using that for positive things.

That is, uh, not how websites make money

None of those men were/are cops. They’re all nazis dressed in their surplus store duds.

Nancy Grace has been radicalized.

Marshawn Lynch is a top 5 American imo, and that is my objectively correct take

This is why I never hustle.

love too use the logo of a sports team known for its foreign-born superstars to be the symbol of my anti-immigration movement

“Barstool Sports, a website for people who never wash their boat shoes”

I can’t believe that he made an apology that was just as offensive as his initial email. I think that we just found Trump’s next Communications Director.

She’s an absolute treasure. I don’t think there’s a national announcer for any other sport that does quite what she does, probably because of her experience and versitility.

Definitely the third best Bay Area punk band circa 1983.

Sort of, yeah! Except you don’t have to wash off tornado or worry about the tornado on your clothing giving you radiation sickness.