A lot of times they literally just need to see that B* somewhere on your resume. They will literally do a document search and toss resumes that don’t have it, no matter what it’s in. 

I agree, and I only ever cook my favorite parts of the turkey, specifically the snow crab, the duck, and depending on the number of guests the Cornish game hen.

I’m going to add:

Nope, I actually have one, though I go out of my way to never see him.

Yeah, it was 90% a joke. My point is sometimes when you jazz things up the point gets lost.

I’m going with ‘from a great distance away,’ preferably by phone or microwaved post. Semaphore is also acceptable. 

Fair point

I can’t decide how I feel about this.

Didn’t say anything about genes. Sort of weird that is what you heard.

If it’s someone who I respect enough to give a legitimate answer, I tell them I have different priorities and never felt the same urge a lot of people do.

Wait, we can’t just use whatever music we want whenever we want?

I realize this is (hopefully) mostly a joke, but really? At minimum wage, I imagine most people will have paid for a pack of four cloth coasters in hours wasted before they’ve left the furniture store.

Thanks for this, but I imagine the type of people who made Thanksgiving travel plans in the first place are the exact people who are going to refuse to listen to reason and cancel them.

So know the person then see if they are acting weirdly?

Lifehacker is about as close to social media as I come.

Anyone have any suggestions for tongue-in-cheek coverage I can turn to occasionally? Comedy Central usually does there thing, but are there any other outlets that do lighthearted version? I’m not going to actually know anything, I might as well enjoy not actually knowing anything. 

It’s so freaking weird to think there are people out there this misinformed voting.

Oh, it’s absolutely possible. It’s just far far less likely than members of some other groups. 

Whatever you do, skip any gathering that is planning on having ‘people from both sides.’ Election night is Sherman’s March. Reconstruction *fingers crossed* starts in January. Tensions will be high, chill in a space where no one is going to actively make it worse.