Was the testicle guy Mike Pence?

When you think about it, that phrase is goddam disgusting.

Over the years, a commenter learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot post. Doesn't seem to matter now, so… the following people are gay.

I decided yesterday morning to start drinking less, partially motivated by my paramour's cleanse/efforts to lose weight and get hot again (her words, not mine).

Hey, give the Mooch a break, it's his first day.

That's considered hardcore? Wow, you're pretty vanilla for someone with a penis for a nose.

"Merry Christmas AV Club!"

I heard an LCD Soundsystem song on the radio yesterday (didn't catch the title), and think I should look into these guys a bit. Where's a good place to start?

RETURN OF THE POOP THREAD

Def Leppard - Armageddon It
Blue Öyster Cult - Don't Fear The Reaper
Prince Ea - Dear Future Generations: Sorry

I was so proud the first time I used that. I kinda go overboard with it now.

Somewhere deep in Commentary Tracks of the Damned, (I think) there is an amazing thread of people's embarrassing poop stories, including someone who ate something elastic-ish, and claimed their poop could not break free of their anus, but instead held on and bounced up and down. Good lord.

How do you keep up with the news like that?

Barf.

Hey, with the right perk, you can drink from all the urinals you want!

What happened there?

I spent 38 motherfucking minutes trying to find my keys today, meaning I left as rush hour was beginning, got to work an hour later than usual. They were right behind/under my dresser, as one would expect. I even checked my fucking crisper, I was so out of ideas as to where they could be.

The clothing or the show? Clothes are comfortable, have never seen a second of the show. All I know is that ol' Weakchin McSlappableFace is in it.

Sounds hawt. Can it be poly- what's the opposite of amorous? Polyenmitous?

I am totally winning my breakup and it's depressing me. I am maybe too invested in my ex's well-being and would like to see her move on faster, whereas I am a largely solitary bastard who came across someone just by ridiculous coincidence.