You’re dumb as shit. Just, so, so fucking dumb.

Ever since Bobby Finger stopped hilariously chronicling that dog smegma of a show of hers, I forget it still exists 

My dream ticket is Klobuchar/Duckworth and if any god out there is listening, I swear on my life I will quit my job and devote every waking minute to their success if you’ll just make that happen. thanks in advance. 

14,952. Chuck Schumer/Nancy Pelosi

Bezos isn’t anywhere on here. Was HamNo even consulted for this list!?

“For nearly fifteen minutes, two of the most infuriating men on television yelled, interrupted, and tried to out-alpha-male one another to no avail.”

uuuugh I can see how people will love this, but as an art historian I am fully prepared to shit all over this. To paraphrase the great Hannah Gadsby: Vincent was a post-impressionist painting at the HEIGHT of post-impressionism, who spent years attempting to treat his mental illnesses successfully, and did so with…

So, a sequel would have to be titled “Se2en: The Sese7venen-ing”.

My Trump-loving Father and I got into our monthly blow up yesterday about this very thing. He had the nerve to call me delusional for saying that R v. W is gonna be one of the first things our new republican overlords will go after. He told me to “get off the script” for saying this administration is coming for us…

Caraway Rye is delicious and the only real rye bread, other than that dark, dense stuff that weighs ten pounds per slice.

I can respect that... but caraway is delicious. In slaw, in kraut, in rye bread... I would miss the flavor too much. I also am both blessed and cursed with very close set teeth that rarely get things wedged between them, so I’ve got that going for me.

So does decaf coffee and gluten free pastry. I have no need for self abuse.

This is admittedly lame, but banana, smeared in nutella, wrapped in spring roll wrap, pan fried in butter. This picture is hot trash from 14 years ago, but it’s tasty diabetes.

The wrong opinion on caraway invalidates the entire question. You are layer upon layer of wrong, built upon a core of wrongness.

You need an old fashioned pie maker. Butter, bread, and whatever filling floats your boat from savory to sweet. Mozzarella, pepperoni and sauce. Canned blueberry pie filling. Cut apples and Carmel sauce. Heck, ham and cheese slices. Oh, and Velveeta with anything else you want.

Mother should probably be more worried about Trudeau, to be honest.

Would Mother allow Mike Pence to be in the same room as those twin harlots Theresa May and Angela Merkel?

White House officials have considered letting Trump off the hook and sending Vice President Mike Pence to Canada in his place

I just realized that I thought Diplo and Calvin Harris were the same person, but Diplo was his stage name and then when he started dating Taylor Swift, people finally learned, and started to use, his full name.