Eat more pies and level up to the next size.
Good God, Lemon
kgmus
what!?!?! I have so much to Google right now....
Isn’t this the guy that molested his transgender niece? The guy that “nice guy” George Clooney punched out on the set of “Three Kings”? The guy that Lily Tomlin lost her shit at? WHY do people continue to make movies with him, and why do people continue to throw money at him to fund said movies?
Listen, he’s right, we all need to make sacrifices to save the environment... but flying 1st class is just not a reasonable adjustment.
I was sleeping over at my cousin’s house when we were both 16 or so. We were always close growing up so our girls’ night sleepovers were some of the best times for us.
YAAS to the first story...but I think the second was too mean. It could have been that the guy wanted out in order to not annoy you/get pummeled by your boyfriend.
How bad must the real thing be?
This one courtesy of my dad: I was about 12 and this guy in my class had been a complete wanker to me for about a year. After many occasions of me coming home from school in various states of distress about it my dad had just about had enough. It turned out that both this dude and I were quite good at cricket (for…
My in-laws are super conservative, I am not even a little. On Christmas Eve my father-in-law came home from work wearing a pin. I asked what it said, and he said, "it says 'you can wish me a Merry Chrismtas'". He and I have had many, many discussions about The War Against Christmas, so I rolled my eyes in a manner…
Unfortunately the sickest burn I’ve ever heard was directed at me by my five-old-nephew. So during March break a year ago my parents and I were looking after him for my brother and sister-in-law. We took him to the Royal Botanical Gardens one day and on our way back as I’m buckling him into his car seat this happens:
I was working third shift at a soul-killing job and during handover to the morning shift, we had to explain a minor mess-up which we were all staying to help sort out. It wasn’t a big deal and this was one of those completely pointless jobs where what we did was shift around data that had no bearing on anything in the…
Hmm, I’m sure I’ve done better, but my last bf was a total dick and I think I got in one decent burn. Over a year’s time together I gained 6 lbs. Yes a whopping 6 pounds. He had the gall to ask me if “I’d asked my doctor about my weight gain.” After I picked up my jaw and started to defend myself, saying no one else…
Thought of another!
On my most recent review for work, my boss wrote, “Luckily, we’re not looking for sunshine and rainbows.” OH SNAP. Don’t worry though, despite that comment it was actually a good review.
I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but in the slight chance that everyone isn’t subscribed to my witty repartee...We were having an introductory conference call with my new boss. She asked everyone to announce their name before they spoke. One woman is quite a brown-noser and never stops talking. She started a comment…
I’m not sure I even see what the alleged “burn” is here and is being asked pressing questions in an academic setting puts you into “smash mode” because you are too impatient to listen to what your interlocutors are saying, I hope your graduation is for a terminal degree and that you’re not going on to grad school.
Well I was lucky that I was pulled over truthfully-I was arrogant and young, something that, I assume by your tone, you have never been. Also unless Winston Churchill is me, I didn’t steal this story from anyone. Just because the burn was stolen from him -many burns *are* reappropriated. What makes something a burn is…
I burned myself today when I realized my musical taste could be described as, “JC Penney’s muzak.” And then I was sad.
A little snot in my graduate program used to try to make people feel small with passive aggressive comments/judgments.