I would not say that “most of the time” bored soldiers on deployments get their kicks by rape and murder. That’s a pretty fucked up and ignorant accusation to level at thousands of people working far from home for a dollar.

I JUST stopped watching her new show because it’s 1000% chia seeds and nasty looking bowls of dry rice with mixed nuts and raw ginger. Wtf even, Nigella?

I spent last night watching youtube tutorials on how to arm knit a chunky blanket. I’m never gonna arm knit a chunky blanket.

I guessed God West. Was I close?

My kid didn’t give a shit about the giraffe and we had two.

This is all true but I think she’s just trying to make it sound as bad as possible to really hammer home the point that some famous dude gave her herpes and make her lawsuit really firm. Not wishy washy like, “He gave me herpes which may or may not have messed up my chances at a healthy relationship and children but…

People putting their feet up on their own couch is realistic to me. I’m doing it rn. What pisses me off is on tv shows where characters keep their shoes on at all times and on all surfaces and for every occasion. Cooking dinner? 6” heels. Laying in bed? Boots. Kicked back on the couch? Sneakers. Damn, you savages.

One of my college roommates was Indian. I was super jealous of her loose pants and long pretty tunics. They’re comfy and attractive. She gave me a set as a goodbye gift and said, “Don’t feel weird. It’s just house clothes. Be Indian at home.” Love her forever.

Like 30+ women have now said it about Cosby, and somehow it’s still “defamatory.”

He was also the best singer of 1D so when he left I was like “wut dey gon do?”

“Drinking the koolaid” doesn’t mean something is disgusting. It originates from the Jonestown Masacre in Guyana where an American cult leader had over 900 followers drink batches of poisoned koolaid rather than let them leave. It means you’ve bought into something.

I’LL DO THEM FOR YOOOOOU

I want to be wrapped in a shroud and put in the ground. Maybe plant a tree above me.

Nothing.

...she yelled wildly at a silent room of cowardly nerds typing furiously at each other.

Remember when she told everybody Miley said some judgy shit about her falling down while she was lying on the floor and Miley was like

And this just after Jon Krakauer’s book about the Missoula rape crisis went big.

That phrase made my breakfast come up the wrong way.

The phrase “desirable children” just made me HURK.