Marine women are badasses! You must be incredibly proud.

To the lowly soldiers making an honest living with their bodies and their lives it’s not about an “industrial complex.” It’s a way toward financial security, a guaranteed meal, a roof over your head, braces on your childrens’ teeth, and a college education if you want it.

I’m glad that a Ranger is thoughtful about this. I spoke with a recently retired Army soldier who never went special forces but made a big show of how our periods prevent us from serving. I was like, “Did you tell that to your daughter’s face? Your daughter you told me was active duty?” I can’t.

That’s the point where I stopped caring and stopped reading.

There’s always one lame guy reciting that they’re german-irish- italian-swiss-scots-english-1/16th cherokee. And that asshole is cameron diaz.

Extremely hard. For idiots, at least.

When people get pissed about the lack of pumpkin in pumpkin spice products I’m like, Duh you idiot. It’s Pumpkin SPICE not PUMPKIN.

I just gotta throw my grandma’s hat in the ring here and say she’s in her 70s and looks 40. And when she was 40 she looked 25. Crossing my fingers that I got some of that in me before I go drink the blood of the innocent to retain my youthful contenance.

We’ve actually had a stern talking to several times by the ladies who share the building with us and don’t appreciate screaming children tearing through their store and belongings (today was especially bad) so I decided I am going to kindly tell volunteers that if they don’t watch their kid and leave with them when…

We are a private charity organization on a military base and the people in charge of our facility will pay for volunteers to bring their children to the top notch government child care center down the street while they work for us. We advertise this to our volunteers but several women keep bringing their destructive…

All airlines are allowed to ask for weights prior to people getting on planes. The FAA says we are entitled to as a safety measure but airlines generally don’t like to piss off customers by making them step on a scale.

I manage a donation center and one of our volunteers brought her four young children and her husband one day. He did absolute jack shit. Sat at my desk in my chair and just yelled periodically. They were running around for hours making other kids cry and destroying the place and having screaming meltdowns and he just…

When I was that age I was made to watch my niece and nephew every single day when they were 4-6. They were horrific little terrors and I cried a lot.

I thank oprah every day that my husband is a baby person, because I am not. I love toddlers. Babies can’t walk or sit on a toilet or shovel food to their own faces or tell you what they want. They just lay on their backs and cry. Not interested.

Frozen yogurt is a blight on the good reputation of ice cream. Fuck that sour goop.

If at any age above 10 i had asked my mom to leave the house specifically to buy me a snack she’d have melted my face with her scorn. Now i’m almost 30 and not a murderer. Thanks mom.

Yeah my kid’s 5 and she can get her own snacks out the fridge, start a shower and put lotion on her own knees and elbows. The other day a woman cried as she told me she was sad about her 6 year old wanting to bathe himself. Alright, lady. Call me in 24 years when he sends you to the store for a soda.

My favorite is that it was [their] “God’s plan.”

YES. YES. YES TIMES INFINITY. Special Forces is for people with strong minds. I’m certain thousands of female soldiers have the physical capacity to do this. These women are showing everyone that we can also have the mentality to be warriors. I’m so proud I could cry.

thank you, dear 8lb 6oz newborn infant jesus