Oh you don't "hate" to be that guy.

Whenever some dude like this snares a baffling number of amazing, beautiful women, I just assume they massage the clitoris during sex.

You know, I'm just tired of this. I'm tired of being told I can't protect myself from an unwanted pregnancy. I'm tired of being told I can't have sex that doesn't result in a baby. I'm tired of being told that when I'm pregnant I'm a liability. I'm tired of being told that when I'm having a baby, I won't necessarily…

Well, we are getting there folks. Men are going to jail for raping goats & corpses, maybe soon they'll start going to jail for raping living human beings!

Mark, did Jezebel put you on the "Stories that are so fucked up you wish you had never read them" beat, or is this the life you have chosen for yourself? I call misandry.

Because you're always on our lawns! With your smarty phones and your eye pads and your fancy coffee drinks we can't pronounce. Damn whippersnappers. My walker doesn't have blue tooth!

Why does Jezebel hate Millennials so much? It's ridiculous.

No, nobody is ever the only person that is or isn't anything. Now collect your complimentary bj for being such a good sex positivist.

Leaving aside all judgment on promiscuity and health concerns, I just feel like this is an awful lot of work for one measly little drink.

Police report the rabbit survived the beating and is recovering.

Believe it or not once someone asked me if I wanted to go protest an abortion clinic with her. I was like "uh, I have to go iron my dog" or some other BS excuse because I wasn't in the mood to start an argument. It really threw me for a loop because the girl is liberal on every other issue except abortion. Weird.

A woman AND a man of color? Are you trying to kill my father?

I'm from Texas, although I no longer live there, and I get so grossed out by the whole genre of "anyone who wants to date my daughter..." then fill in the blank with gems like:

Does it ever occur to these asshole fathers that the only reason they are afraid of their daughters dating is because they treated women so fucking horribly until they met the one they decided to marry/procreate with? Why doesn't anyone ever discuss the desire to teach their sons how to treat women like human fucking…

Don't ruin this for me, Lindy!

This is going to sound really sad, because it is. At the time that I got married, I could have used this woman's help because I had so few friends. I asked two friends from high school and my cousin and they really were not invested in me as a person at that time in my life.

Despite the ridiculousness, I appreciate the thoughtfulness of a handout as opposed to demanding clairvoyance, depending on server memory, and/or displaying ignorance about what food contains her allergens. It even has pictures, which is nice.

My husband works at a high end resort in Marin County. The restaurant patrons are usually people who are staying there, but they do get a lot of locals. In Marin everyone is on some sort of restrictive diet, it is out of control. One evening, they seated a 5 top and one of the guests handed the server a piece of…

I used to work with an old Lebanese man named Melham, who despite knowing how liberal and accepting I am made it a point to work into conversation with me as much as possible the fact that he wasn't Muslim. "Cat Stevens! Very talented man, Ted! Powerful musician.... And he became Muslim? Why? So foolish! I'm Christian…

Lean out, and what he's saying will make more sense to you.