AAAAHG! ITS RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Are you fucking serious?? She's been here since like 2010.

I can't decide if this is the greatest cop ever or the greatest cat.

You can read? You're literate, too? You must be a man. Or an unattractive woman.

Ok, I'll admit, sometimes kids are awesome.

do you write scripts for porn?

I'm just delighted by the whole family, all piled into the bathroom, laughing together.

Rob Delaney is hot. Like, Burt Reynolds Naked Picture hot.

Mark. You're my favorite writer on here but you also make me want to take an anti-depressant. What does that say about me? Seriously, this story kills me. But I do appreciate that you write about stuff like this and child abuse, guns, etc.

Really? Cause part of me completely agreed with your first sentence.

Also it would be a good lesson to the children to return something to it's rightful owner if it was wrongfully taken from him/her/them

It makes their junk look like a tennis ball stuck at the bottom of a sock.

....must...resist urge...to pull and snap....

Ditto.

What is this comment? How is what she said anti-capitalistic? I have personally lamented being a brown girl trying to find foundation dark enough. Even some major retailers / brands don't sell suitable colors.

The whole thing gets sucked inside like a tape measure snapping back into its case.

If you took the time to actually read her comment she actually makes the capitalistic argument. She's saying that the products for darker-skinned women get pulled too quickly from the shelves to make the retailer money. If the products were on the shelves longer, darker-skinned women would have time to find them,…

And women can't go shirtless without someone shitting themselves, but this is okay.