When “was rude online” = “is an awful person” I’ll be ready to discuss all of it. Meanwhile, I’m sure your own online history is spotless...

If you think Chrissy Teigen is the only person who was periodically an asshole on the Internet in their mid-20s...

Everybody involved would have a lot more to lose if Shaq had directly had a fight with Kobe. Both get suspended. Shaq loses a whole lot more than $100K in fines. And SURELY you don’t think Shaq’s gigantic ass couldn’t beat up all the “want to” in three Kobe Bryants, right? #SmartenUpNas

A) This is the AV Club, so the offered a context that made perfect sense for their core audience.
B) If you had to guess which net, when cast, captures more people in this corner of the Internet, would you pick film buffs, “sound-mass afficionados” or those familiar with the “Polish new music Renaissance?”

If this was a…

Tight-fitting henley?!?!?! Is his torso a moving box?

The most important part of what you typed here is “as of today.”

You are right to point out that 98% of the delegates have not been awarded. You are right to point out that there is still much campaigning to be done. You are wrong to focus on any projections being offered about the eventual delegate math that are based…

If that’s the case then it would have been totally unnecessary to... give her the questions in advance. C’mon. Do better.

Hold up... Let me add a slash between two things you typed adjacent to one another:

It must be weird to be in an “opportunistic” relationship after one drops out of a Presidential race. I guess Senator Booker is still in it to... boost the ratings of ‘Briarpatch’ airing *checks notes* NOW! on T-B *checks notes again* U-S-A Network!

Meanwhile, your cynical ass is on the Internet discussing when and…

You’re going to hell for that. Which is cool, because I wanna see some hilarious people in hell, and I’ll definitely be down there!

If your way of honoring someone’s death is a supercut Cobb salad with an orchestra, you’re doing it... your own way and I’ll reserve public judgment while typing something that clearly indicates my general position on the matter.

“This is a complete overhaul of the biggest showcase of NBA talent and, as to be expected, fans aren’t particularly keen on these changes.”

At the risk of getting sued by Tulsi Gabbard, I should just note that I’m not naming names when I write that “a hit dog hollers...” is an expression for a reason. You’ll know I’m talking about you when I mention your name on a track. Until then, responding to subliminals just makes you look weak.

I have the exact same problem with less foresight: Red is my favorite color, so I wear it a lot. And I’m in Target a lot because Target. That should be more of a problem in the summer when “red polo” is fair game. But I’ve been in Target wearing a red dress shirt under a vest or even a winter coat, pushing a cart that…

Let’s recap:

It’s not your style, so you don’t want it.
You haven’t tried to get it, so you’re not in a position to evaluate the quality level.
You’re comfortable basing your final conclusion about the price in relation to the quality level on the words of someone who... also probably also hasn’t been anywhere near it…

You’re spot on, and what’s really sad about that is humans should be able to schedule with the knowledge that if the Sun is out, you can figure out where in the sky it will be and how it will make a room look, using science. Ask me how I know, sitting in Downtown DC, listening to people complain about conference rooms…

I actually chastized my coworkers for donut cutting this week in an all staff meeting. My exact words were “insufficient commitment to being a fatass.” I’m gonna get away with a lot this year!

You... haven’t talked to many divorced people about their exes, have you?

100%. I’m significantly more over the formula of “Pick City. Make Cop show. Make Hospital show. Make Firefighter show. CROSSOVER!”

I don’t think anyone needs a Poughkeepsie First Responders Cinematic Universe.

Don’t be surprised. Johnson has an election coming up a lot sooner than Trump’s, and Trump is more unpopular over there than he is over here. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Boris released the tape!