I read this post and contracted second-hand lame

This headline is one vowel away from the best story on Deadspin in years.

dang it, why didn't I read the replies before I posted? Alas.

So then, he's joined a mind-controlled cult?

Anyone else thinking that there's no way there's 20,000 notes a minute in a musical?

I live in L.A. and we should host the Winter Olympics. I mean, Sochi got to, and it's only an hour and a half to the snow.

This reminds me exactly of Uncle Rico's time machine

When Heaney goes into the Hall of Fame, will he be wearing his Dodger hat on his plaque?

"Raider Dad" reminds me of people who call sports talk shows and give their name as their favorite team, like:

Dodger Mike
Celtic Murph
Giant Dick
Expos Peter

While I agree with your point, I do love the irony of someone defending literacy while misspelling "anonymity".

all baby boys, at the time of birth, have huge nuts. It has to do with the hormones present at birth. Look, I have two sons, and BOTH of them had giant nut sacks when they we bo.....WAIT A MINUTE!

It was probably to be turned into thousands of more fish, along with a bunch of loaves.

I agree. Every time he got sacked I thought to myself, "An object at rest should stay at rest."

I get it

note: I didn't really make that up. #CharlieSteiner #CarlLewis

I just made this up: That was written by Francis Scott Off-Key. Yep, just made that up.

Thug

err, I thought they had a kid. Another hot take up in smoke.

Hot take: Didn't he leave his baby mamma?

"Ms. Deen? I have Dr. Martin Luther King's uncle on the phone, says his name is Tom. He's willing to come on your show and defend you."