I can’t listen to this brother-in-law beater anymore.

I’m kinda digging that new Taylor Swift song, September. That’s got “Electric Slide material” written all over it.

I made it exactly one line into the song. “Do you remem-ber...”

The Cooper thing reminds me of when white folk started dancing down the aisle at weddings in the mid-90's or so, just in time to start posting it on YouTube. It was the hottest thing since sliced Wonder Bread! They even incorporated it into the wedding episode of The Office. How awesome was that?!?

Who gives a shit about these political maneuverings? What I want to know is if their computer systems are back online so I can pay my decade-old traffic court fine that I just found about when I went to go get my FLORIDA driver’s license renewed. Fire whoever’s in charge of IT security, and whoever could have slipped…

Knives and Rules of Survival are from China. There doesn’t seem to be a shortage of Chinese people.

FYI crispy bacon crumbled onto a couple scoops of ice cream is fantastic! I’ve had it on vanilla bean ice cream and coffee-flavored, worked great on both.

Ain’t no mountains here in Florida, dog. Unless you count Space Mountain at Disney World.

That’s every state. What do you think Georgia would be like if there were no Atlanta and Savannah? Florida without Orlando, Tampa, and Miami? New York without NYC and Buffalo?

That video from the bar was a little... ruff.

“Metallic Gold”? Isn’t that like saying... wooden wood?

Yep, because everyone who was accused was 100% guilty.

You question whether potato wedges are actually fries, but give a free pass to Chick-Fil-A’s giant potato disks?

And he would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddlin’ kids!

Popeye’s red beans and rice is my favorite side item of any fast food restaurant. It’s not homemade but it’s still damn great.

FYI, this deal price is for Amazon Prime customers only. I’m not one, and the non-Prime price is $11 higher.

FYI, this deal price is for Amazon Prime customers only. I’m not one, and the non-Prime price is $11 higher.

Well the guy DID try to bottle and sell New York tap water. And now he’s working on monetizing meditation... At least he’s sticking to his main strength: marketing.

That’s not a list of Pauls, THIS is a list of Pauls!

I don’t remember the regurgitating bird sketch, but it sounds pretty tame compared to Pre-Chewed Charlies.