Can we talk about that wedgie, tho?

I cannot imagine the kind of person that has nothing better to do than watch this show. Seriously. Do anything else. Jack off. Pet your dog. Do both at the same time. I don’t care.

Look, I know the writers of Deadspin love thesaurus.com, but this was not a “pronouncement,” and if it were, would directly conflict with your headline. There’s nothing formal about interviewing a player after a game and having him drop hints that he’s unsure if he’ll be back.

Tom Brady has the toughest job in sports!?!? I would love to see that dumb motherfucker play 140 games behind the plate or save 45 shots in an NHL hockey game.

Now, just wait one god damn minute, Deadspin. (same guy during STL series in DC).

People whose parents paid for their college don’t get to have opinions about college. And they ESPECIALLY don’t get to bitch about it.

Hey. You’re the same shitty guy who wants to round up mentally ill people and homeless people in San Diego and throw ‘em all in cells. Yes. I remember. And you’re still a shitty person, even when commenting on a different story.

Wow. You’re a really shitty person.

Ugh. This is like Fun with distortion.

It’s summer. Let’s make some questionable decisions.

Looks like the Allen/Elliot shuffle in St. Louis could be coming to an end.

Can you imagine if the ending of GOT mirrored Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Holy shit. I would burn things. Big things.

I think credit needs to go to Gene Gemby’s Twitter timeline, which basically helped frame this dude’s story.

They need to allow pitchers in the HR derby just to shut them up. I’d imagine that MadBum and Arrieta combine for 3.

I’ve never understood why Americans like watching soccer. Sure, it’s hip and European and doesn’t bring back memories of your father getting drunk and yelling about the 75 World Series.

Court?

“Cardinals Fans For The Unyielding Support of Gawker Media”

Bootstrap 77s

Somewhere someplace someone is looking at their Twitter feed going like, ‘wait, that fucking moron from high school is allowed to talk on TV/radio?’

The takeaway here is to pay attention to your surroundings, city bikers.