Honestly, this could be every headline every day.

I know right, it’s really hard to remember the 50 states, let alone any territories. 50 States, 50 of them, that a very big number, that’s a lot; you throw in territories and it starts to get even more confusing. Besides it’s not his job to know that kind of stuff, it’s his job to make America great, and he’s doing…

So like, what? Now he’s supposed to know geography?! You people just want him to do everything !!1!!!

I’m starting to get the feeling that Trump and his Cabinet might not be that smart.

Not really sure what the trump campaign staffer who was murdered has to do with the rest of the content here. Are we supposed to laugh and say “hahah that’s what you get for working for trump”? Because if so, that’s pretty fucking gross. The entire story is just sad all around. It seems very out of place in this…

Trump and the President of the Virgin Islands got along so well, they spent the day together:

I can’t stop thinking about him telling the Value Voters (or Hateville USA) that ‘today I spoke to the President of the US Virgin Islands, and things there are getting better’, because he has no clue that HE’S the President of the US Virgin Islands. Hilarious and sad at the same time.

The Tweets are especially mad today, aren’t they?

“The wonderful people of Puerto Rico, with their unmatched spirit, know how bad things were before the H’s. I will always be with them!”

45*’s subconscious, whose allegiance to its half-melted Creamsicle host is up and down like a toilet seat at a frat party, is rebelling again. You might have noticed that sometimes the Code 45* reflects the awful things that Orange believes, and sometimes it is a medium through which his more pragmatic subconscious…

“The Fake News Is going all out in order to demean and denigrate! Such hatred!”

Well, it looks like he’s all about that fucking healthcare EO in the Code 45* today. Ellie left out his sickening Tweet ending with “HEALTHCARE!”, but it’s an essential part of today’s subliminal message. He clearly has no idea what he has wrought, and he is just as oh-so-clearly proud of what he’s done. It’s almost…

“Happy National Farmer’s Day to all the Farmers! Here’s a picture of them holding signs with my name on them BECAUSE THEY LOVE ME AND I AM THE BESTEST PRESIDENT OF THEM ALL!!!1!!!!11!!!!”

“Ah, Grasshopper, your grasp of the rational does you credit, but will not help you understand the mind of a rotting pumpkin.”

Second prize is a set of steak knives.

The “NRA Most Violent Gun Crime of the Year Award”.

I feel like most people missed the point of what Trump is doing in his flap with NBC. The president doesn’t have the power to shut down the networks and neither does the FCC, which can’t regulate content beyond obscenity.

A real quote attributed to the president in this Gabriel Sherman report, according to two unnamed sources, is: “I hate everyone in the White House! There are a few exceptions, but I hate them!”

You don’t really need me to decode the message for you this time, folks. Just read the relevant words starting at the bottom Tweet and reading upward. There is obviously only one possible way to interpret them. What’s that? OK, OK…I’ll do it for you. God.

Heh. As if Donny Two Scoops would “read” any coloring books with words in them. Imagine the briefings he gets.