while i do believe the details of his life are quite inconsequential...i should share...but where to begin?

The Code 45* will be largely on mute today; it’s not only because neither the barf bag nor the feature in The Slot named after him posted any raw materials for us to work with. It’s mostly because that fucking “presidential” 9/11 “tribute” video (which probably should have been served with a side of exclamation point)…

what makes you think he won’t?

More like Jesse Helms. For all you millennials he was a racist, misogynistic, homophobic North Carolina Senator who defiled the US Congress for far longer than he should have on account of he was too ornery to die.

“Well, Jessie is a friend, yeah I know he’s been a good friend of mine, so I appointed him US Attorney to #MAGA as my token Asian male,” thinks President Cheeto.

not to put too fine a point on it, but when the beauty pageant contestants and the comedians are the ones calling out the racist and inflammatory rhetoric of our president and not, oh I dunno, OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS, then there seems to be something deeply amiss with our country

Everyone in Texas is outraged!!!....

Jesus that NRA lady is scary looking.

Today’s shocking Code 45* further supports his other recent coded messages, and finally reveals Trump’s subconscious as the fifth column that I always suspected it was. His various self-destructive attempts to free himself of the burden of this accidental presidency couldn’t be more blatant - his recent cozying up…

Side note: ‘Federal G’ is my new gangster rap name.

“Our incredible U.S. Coast Guard saved more than 15,000 lives last week with Harvey. Irma could be even tougher. We love our Coast Guard!”

Meanwhile, more NYT articles are being published about how Trump is a giant toddler:

The Harvey death toll currently stands at 70... that’s government inefficiency for you!

Today’s Code 45* appears to be the product of Trump’s subconscious musings while entertaining the visiting Kuwaiti delegation. Recent Code 45*s have been giving strong indications that Trump is becoming increasingly less enamored of the shit show that is his life since he accidentally got elected. There is also…

Medal making is the English major of trade schools.

 they’re actually cheap, gritty chocolate wrapped in tinfoil.

They can’t find anyone else to do this shit; only the inbred troglodytes. All the smart people are busy creating and producing, something this administration has not done once. So the only people left to entertain this farce are the unenlightened, uneducated peons who think a great way to spend their time is to do…

The fine art of lever pulling is a craft like no other.

They remind me of arcade tokens.

In other words, busywork. If you’re being  taught a skill that’s already been automated, you’re wasting your time.