Code 45* o’ the day is a masterpiece of minimalism:

• Jared Kushner told congressional interns (??) that the Trump campaign was too disorganized to collude with Russia. [Foreign Policy]

Why do I imagine Jared Kushner saying this a la some weird white people wasp-y party with white wine spritzers and sweaters jauntly tied around their shoulders. Him on some couch surrounded by a bunch of blonde, white interns, laughing over how too disorganized they were too collude with Russia.

Sad!

“When I started buying crystals, it was so out there. Not it’s trendy and everyone buys crystals”

He’s right about the Chinese, they are basically all chimera-hybrid AIs that produce human milk and knockoff smartphones. The long con is to infiltrate our nutritious paleo diets with genetically modified rice beef products and make us all lactate through our InfoWars t-shirts. 

And she got her ass handed to her by J.K. Rowling earlier this week.

Ms. Anti-Entitlements/Black Lives Don’t Matter was a gainfully employed college graduate still on her parents’ insurance. The most special of snowflakes.

It’s almost like looking good in a cocktail dress and channeling righteous indignation are not all it takes to have a handle on the issues.

“For all of Trump’s tough-guy rhetoric, if he was ever in a fist fight, he’d fold faster than Superman on laundry day.” I think it would go a little something like this:

I’m pretty sure Jimmy would BRING IT ON in a dance battle

Don’t mess with Bush Sr!

“...and you see these thugs being thrown into the back of a paddy wagon...”

In the inevitable film, Mrs. The Mooch must be portrayed by Edie Falco, right down to the manicure.

I had to start braising the beef, pork butt and veal shanks for the tomato sauce. It was Michael’s favorite. I was making ziti with the meat gravy and I’m planning to roast some peppers over the flames and I was gonna put on some string beans with some olive oil…