Trump brings back coal jobs. Coal miners leave mine shafts. Boom! Mine shaft gap solved. Best president ever.

When Trump brings their coal jobs back, they’ll be too busy mining coal to get hooked on opiates.

Yes, its a turte, no a baby whale, no a flounder, no a tuna, they don’t know what it is, it’s dyin’, just get it in the boat.

It’s hard to pick a favorite because there’s just so many great ones but one of favorites has to be “Let’s hook that shit and we’ll be on the fuckin’ news, man!” Like they just caught some sort of mythical sea creature no one’s ever seen.

It’s a baby wheel Jay!

Call the Coast Gahd Jay!

Soitenly!

Yea, I thought he would last a few months and then have to leave because of “exhaustion” or whatever bullshit excuse celebrities use when they go to rehab.

It was this big. I shit you not. It was YUGE.

But he totally watched that show on The History Channel that one time. It was about Napoleon, or WWI, or maybe WWII. Or maybe Oak Island. He can’t remember everything he sees on TV.

“But he wanted to consolidate, and it went and dropped to 35 degrees below zero, and that was the end of that army.”

“We’re not going to own it. I’m not going to own it,” Trump said Tuesday at the White House in his first public appearance since the Senate bill fell apart. “I can tell you the Republicans are not going to own it. We’ll let Obamacare fail and then the Democrats are going to come to us.”

Glaciers advance, glaciers retreat. You can’t explain that.

Glaciers advance, glaciers retreat. You can’t explain that.

And that is exactly why Bernie would never beat Trump had he been nominated. Yet the Bernie Bros refuse to believe that.

When I started my sleeve the tattoo artist asked me what I did for a living. I told him I drive a truck. I think if I told him I was a lawyer or something more white collar he would have talked me out of it.

I have a traditional Japanese style sleeve. The Japanese style stops at the wrist. I was working a job and started in November. I wore long sleeves all winter. It wasn’t until spring when I wore a short sleeve shirt people saw my tattoo. A few people were surprised that I’d worked there 6 months and they had no idea I…

I know a tattoo artist that that calls a neck tattoo an ‘unemployable’ and will try to talk people out of getting one or suggest another part of the body.

“Oh, I’m sorry ladies. I didn’t realize this was the women’s locker room. My what a beautiful body you have. Really nice. Nice shape although you’re not a ten. You’re boobs are too small.”

It’s a golf tournament. And you’ll never guess who’s golf course it’s being played at.