My girlfriend’s dog is an unbelievable scavenger. When I walk him he can sniff out and find food anywhere. A lady in my apartment complex would leave cat food out for the nieghbourhood strays. He found it one day and stated eating it. Every day for almost year evrytime I would walk him he would go straight to that…

I either need to get my eyes checked or something is wrong with my monitor because I don’t see any red. I see white but there’s no white listed in the description.

Chicago was never really home anyway.

Doesn’t sound like a deficiency. But one of the symptoms of diabetes is an unquenchable thirst and frequent urination. I’m assuming you urinate a lot drinking all that water.

Weren’t you paying attention during the campaign? Donald Trump’sgot big plans for ISIS. Big plans. He won’t tell anyone what these plans are. Not even the military. I think they’re a secret and for some reason he can’t tell anyone. But once he reveals this plan it’s bye bye ISIS.

Wow. I heard this for the first time last week on the way to work. That is one of the most evil dark songs I ever heard. That song would give me nightmares if I listened to it before bed.

Would have liked to read that. There’s been an awful lack of floridness around here lately.

I meant sketch.

Maybe SNL should give him equal time. Have some of your people Donny Boy write a scetch. I’m sure it will be hilarious.

Grande cappuccino for tiny hands. I have a grande cappuccino for tiny hands. Is tiny hands here?

OK Trump. That’s Spelled H-I-L-L-A-R-Y right?

Is Takeoff an auto correct fail?

I watched part of that Pakman video. For some reason my phone would play the first minute.

I remember they showed us the Helen Hunt movie in school as part of the ‘don’t do drugs kids’ lesson. It was the one and only day I ever went to school stoned. When she went out the window I laughed so hard and loudly everyone in the class turned around and looked at me. The teacher actually paused the movie and asked…

I love this.

Throw in a wacky neighbor and you got a hit sit com.

Those unemployed steel workers in the rust belt, you know the ones that think Trump is going to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN by bring their jobs back from China, can’t afford $8,000 to $10,00 dollar bracelets. They can barely afford $10 bracelets.

So you’re telling me there’s a 30% chance smoking will kill me?