Melania doing Blue Steel in the background.

I ignored a jury duty summons once. I checked online and I found out there can be severe penalties for that. Repeatedly ignoring a jury duty summons can result in a warrant issued for you arrest, fines and possibly jail time. I called back and told them I lost my original summons and they rescheduled my jury duty.

Yes. There is a yield sign at the end of the ramp. That means drivers on the highway have the right of way. That no, I don’t have to slow down or change lanes to let your slow as leisurely merge onto the interstate.

#3 hapens everywhere and it drives me crazy. Connecticut especially. They have really short on ramps on I 95 so drivers need to stomp the gas or else they merge on too slow and force every one to slow down.

Mike Pence killed fitty men.

What not one James Brown fan in Chinatown?

Damn politicians. Trying to take the resources.

The guy who lived in my apartment before me got arrested for dealing coke. The neighbor told me at one time he had like half a dozen friends living with him in a one bedroom apartment. I would get mail for 4 or 5 different people. One day I was picking up a package at the post office and they told me the Postmaster…

I used to get mail for the former tennant in my apartment. One day I was picking up a package at the post office and they asked me to wait a minute. The Postmaster came out and had a list of names and asked me if each one lived at my address. After that I stopped getting other people’s mail.

My girlfriend has a Boston. I can tell you her doggie language drawings are 100% accurate.

She looks like a blow up doll in that picture.

I got bit by a dog and now my nail looks like this

Brings back a 12 pack of Natty Lite with 3 missing and 2 packs of generic cigarettes with 2 already smoked. Keeps the change.

My thoughts exactly. There’s no way any of his wives are cooking dinner.

“Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of “Tide”.“

Tune in to Wacky Maureen O’Dowd and the rest of the morning zoo crew every morning from 6-10 AM on 95.9. Your station for classic rock hits. And now here’s Dave “The Animal” with traffic. How’s that traffic look on 95 this morning Dave?

You callin’ me stupid? I know what nucular frisson is.

My biggest pet peeve is people who don’t stop at the stop line. They either stop too far forward that they are actually in the cross walk or three feet behind the line so they don’t trigger the camera. It live on a side street. The light at the main street is timed to stay green on the main street ubless a car…

I was just in Vermont and the was a sign telling you that the traffic lights were timed for 30 mph.

The first time I heard Bawitdaba I was convinced Kid Rock was a one hit wonder. I would have bet money on it. Boy did he prove me wrong.