If something bad happens to anyone connected with Oregon football, fowl play is now automatically suspected.

To be fair, the Vikings playbook only has like five plays anyway.

Jesus, Kool-Aid Man. You really need to learn how to bunt, considering you're a pitcher and all.

Word on the street is that Cheeks got off thanks to some slick work on the part of his old friend and forensic scientist Dr. Erving.

With that jersey on, you knew it was only a matter of time before his gameday turned into a McClusterfuck.

Silly Flynn. Of course there's no war on or in football. WAR is a baseball stat.

Have you thought up a title for the book yet? Because Tales from the Dickside is probably still available unless some porn took it.

"All I needed to say was 'we're trying to preserve tradition?' I messed that one up pretty badly."

Not only did his sneakers light up, but you know that he also had a sweet-as-fuck rat tail going on that's sadly not visible in the picture.

You know, you can listen to rap music and smoke weed in GTA V. My outrage level is pretty much maxed out.

Now I'm waiting for the day when there's an openly gay player in baseball who criticizes someone for admiring a home run for a bit too long. The Braves fanbase will implode.

Punto has slid headfirst into first so many times that one Father's Day, his daughter tripped while running around the bases and the Twins announcers said she was just trying to be like her dad. This actually happened. #grittydrivetowin

Security: Mr. Johnson, that's an impressive camera.

Joe Amendola wanted to get in on the action, but he tripped and fell while trying to jump over the bar.

Whoa, dude. You know very well Boston invented baseball and all other sports. FAWK YOU.

Using whatever Pokemon you want is probably the best advice you can offer in the whole series. With Sylveon around, I'm finally going to create the all-Eeveelution team I always wanted. They will be called the Eeveengers. And they will assemble as needed.

That's what makes Whicker worse. Mushnick did a paint-by-numbers racist column, complete with using quotation marks for whatever phrases he deems beneath him. He probably has a template for it saved on his computer. Whicker's makes you question the man's thought process. Why would you EVER write something like…

A troll ripping on Stephen A. Smith? Right now, Skip's lawyers are drafting a Complaint for gimmick infringement.

The Broncos playing the Vikings? This will end poorly for the Purple and Gold.

Are the weapons going to have stories to go along with them this time? And will they be as soul-crushingly depressing as in Drakengard?