"...yes, I do know why they're so expensive: They have to be manufactured in zero gravity and trips to and from the international space station are very expensive. Fun fact: Mars rovers Spirit and Opportunity used the same struts."

Doug, you're killing all our dreams!

I manage an AutoZone (yes, ugh, AutoZone) in a pretty rough part of town (the fucking ghetto) and I have to deal with this all the damned time. People trying to look "Baller on a Budget" makes my job an absolute headache. I get everything from people in Magnums/Chargers/300Cs claiming they have the Hemi and inevitably…

Here's where I agree:

I drive old awesome because I can't tolerate new shit and refuse to pay for new awesome. Old awesome still ends up cheaper than new awesome.

I can see that it's a folding sleeper but where do you put the bed?

The only way it could look more legitimately like a stock Camry, when "closed up", is with an outdated political bumper sticker and a dent in one corner of the rear bumper.

*Clicks link on phone

For a threat, they still sound entirely way too polite.

It's a motor not an engine, but I reject your technicalities.

They brought the horses to tow the RR once it breaks.

Damnit Doug! Now you've made me go and search for running Topazes! I wasted literally minutes of my day!

Love your articles, Tyler. Thanks!