Spelling and general cleanliness are not imortant if you're a journalist that makes TV appearances, either.

To save everyone the time from looking through a bunch of Chicago sports tweets you don't care about, the reply basically says Sharp is sticking his dick where he shouldn't.

The first year estimate was double, so wouldn't that be 274 per hour? Instead of 100 more?

"You can smell it? I didn't think it was gonna smell. My bad..."

I graduated college a few years ago, but still had an active email address. Got me this:

I graduated college a few years ago, but still had an active email address. Got me this:

Least funny joke I've read All Day

Sam Dalembert must be reading that tweet like "what the fuck, man?!"

Look at the 12-year old selling this place:

Sleep with the phone in the other room? That means I can't be on it before bed, and that's nonsense. Just throw it on Do Not Disturb before you pass out and you're golden.

Blacked out word = Molly? That might explain why she says she was so messed up but he thought she was fine.

No team wanted to trade for him, so he was cut and put on waivers. If a team picks him up off waivers (no one will), they have to take on his salary. If he passes through waivers and doesn't get claimed, he can sign as a free agent on a new team and with a new contract.

No, because you'd draft a teams QB, i.e. The Eagles QB's. So you had Foles, he gets injured, now you have Sanchez.

Yeah, this paragraph is a mess.

Tripp Telesco sounds like a Texas oil tycoon or a used-car salesman. Also, Fleet Jernigan is an awesome sports name, no matter what he plays.

Andrew Luck talks like Dave Chappelle when he's mocking an old white person. I can just see him saying "Good job, Sizzle!" in white-face

This is awesome. I thought his current hairstyle was awful and totally out of style, but this mullet in 2000 proves that this is kind of his thing.

I concur.

Can I write next week's 'Emmitt Smith Pick of the Week'? Or guest respond to a Funbag question? That has to be so much fun.

Guy seems like a real Michigan Man. He's got my vote for the next J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Head Football Coach. Yeah, that's a real thing.

I'm a Michigander living in Denver and that's definitely accurate. But, we're like that because people just equate Detroit to Michigan and write it off, when it really has a lot more to offer.