This reminds me, in addition to my organic anal beads, it looks like my dildo garden is almost ready for its first harvest of the year! #blessed

It would explain being with Chris Martin. He’s like the tofu of men.

(millennial scoff) More like Title Nein

Have a piece of gum while you’re waiting.

“a very specific kink in political reasoning: the idea that a system that seeks to increase the wellbeing of poor children should be separated from the welfare of poor parents”

...and not a one of those senators who stayed home touched a shovel or vacuum cleaner.

Tubbs finds your rage delicious.

Based on everyone’s comments I already know Tubbs is going to be my favorite.

Tubbs rules! I don’t care if he’s a pig, he’s my favorite.

I just started playing Neko Atsume 3 days ago. Joe DiMeowgio showed up yesterday and it literally made my day.

lol, I have said absolutely nothing that every single teacher who has worked in a wide variety of schools has not said. I think people have weird concepts about what reality is like. Also, don't worry, I'm not a teacher anymore.

We are discussing this now, so it probably sounds like I go through the roster and make up stories about each kid. That’s absolutely not true- I just have to read it when I call roll. You notice general trends, but also, when you are around thousands of kids a year, you also stop paying attention to their names unless…

“he applied the cologne liberally, moving his hands slowly, sensually downward...marrying it with his natural, ever-present sheen to make sure that every visible inch of his torso glistened with his musky love elixir. After circling the ridge of his navel once...twice...and stopping with a finger just behind the knot…