Okay, so are you ready for the punchline?

Aaron Hernandez, an innocent man, died in prison. Yet, Tom Brady (clearly guilty of evidence tampering) walks free. That’s America for you.

Does the suicide trick work for library fines, too?

Was his name, by chance, Joseph Ducreux?

A spokesman for the office told NJ.com he wouldn’t “confirm nor deny the existence of investigations.”

“I’m a football player.”

When are these players going to learn that it’s far safer to ingest a cocktail of opiates and chemicals instead of a Schedule I drug AKA marijuana (are you trying to tell me the U.S. government got this wrong you fuckin hippies?!)?

Just tell the players to openly smoke weed. Will they suspend entire teams? I mean, I don’t care if this is a good idea, I just want to see Mt. Take explode when 3/4ths of the Seahawks post on Instagram buying weed at a dispensary.

Yeah, it seems weird to say that Popovich is only the Spurs’ coach; my understanding is, for years he’s been the de facto head of the entire basketball organization, and it has worked out pretty swell.

If I know Balmer, the Clippers will be more stable after a small update and a reboot.

The NBA would award an expansion franchise to Seattle. In order to keep the conferences balanced, Philadelphia would also be given an NBA franchise.

Um yeah, they were pretty liberal about spending money on exclusive TV rights to events.

Raiders Draft Room:

“We had to change our signals.”

Nice to see Greg Norman keeping busy.

Without getting too hyperbolic, I can honestly say without exaggeration that this was one of the NHL playoff series ever played.

More like Marcus Smart Aleck, amirite?

You forgot the most important thing a snooker n00b needs to know.

The NFL’s gambling policy is very simple to understand:

1) Patiently work a pass to first base