I had this problem with a friend with whom I sat down to study all the ballot measures - we’d get through the first line of the measure (which of course is carefully worded to catch people who didn’t care to read further) and she’d declare “This is good!” or “Nah” and I was constantly like “Stahp. No, we have to read…

This is honestly my trick for when I have to go somewhere alone and don’t want to be a total outcast (I’m terrible at small talk). Wear a character t-shirt: find instant friends!

My friend and I vote absentee so we got to vote in the comfort of our flannel jammies Sunday night. Her husband votes regular style but all three of us sat and talked through the propositions and made our decisions based on the viewpoints offered. It felt very democratic :) And then I swung by the library to drop…

I love this sticker!

tall people know they’re tall, find something else to compliment them on.

I got to vote against Darrell Issa and it’s made me happy enough to forego the sticker.

I’m not giving up my Trump to Voldemort extension just yet. When Trump loses he’ll throw one of his regular whiny fits, which will make for even more entertaining Trump He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named article reading.

I would love for all these wonderful quips to be made into a 2017 desk calendar.

I sure didn’t mark his bubble on my ballot tonight.

And the single greatest chicken recipe I manage to do correctly every time: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/perfect-roast-chicken-recipe.html

Save the carcass and make some Alton Brown chicken stock for even more happiness.

She would have been chased out of my office by an angry mob with pitchforks and fire. We are soooooo strict about illness here and I love it.

“But I didn’t touch anything, it’s fine!”

But do they walk around for those 21 seconds of peeing like my dog does...

My male coworkers have an impressive ability to be out of the bathroom before the urinal is done flushing. Absolutely vile.

Last week I spent an 8 hour car ride seated directly in front of a hacking, possibly contagious child who kept “forgetting” to cough into her elbow or tissue. I was ready to put her in the roof carrier.

My grandma got herself swirled into blown glass paperweights!

My brother’s cremation was about $1,500 IIRC. Still cheaper than embalming, making him presentable, casket, plot, etc.

I just want to be thrown under a tree or, if I die of something interesting, donated to science. I want nothing to do with the death industry.

Caitlin’s YouTube channel is so fascinating!

Made these for my church party and won best decorated dessert!

If it makes you feel better I have the weakest bladder and demon intestines and am pretty sure that I have IBS and I don’t even have a story to contribute.