Hayne: Today I have a presentation for you about a very important issue. Cyberbullying.

“I said show them a scrum! A SCRUM!”

Since goats weigh about 40 lbs, my guess is this was probably a delivery of the goat leg you can pre-order at Girl and the Goat, Stephanie Izard’s place on Randolph Street. It looks like this, and it’s fucking delicious.

I thought the story below was a response to your question:

The best way to eat goat is by a tía who cooks it out in the backyard in a pit.

Imagine what the GM of the Browns has to eat to get rid of their curse...

I mean, it’s a valid concern. I work privately but even I read The Communist Manifesto to every small child I care for before naptime.

What we need is a national child care system with workers earning living wages. We had one that worked really well in World War 2, the military still has one, and we came very close to getting one in the 1970s before Pat Buchanon convinced Nixon that it was un-American/undermined American families/blah (causing him to…

UGH DID THIS EVEN NEED TO BE WRITTEN???

This commercial finally answers that age-old question...

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Trump supporter: “Well, maybe he did strangle a baby but......emails!”

At this point you’d have to have footage of him strangling a baby for it to matter.

aka “first”

Counterpoint: change

No one hates the Cubs more than I do, but christ, just let them have their fun for another day before going on seemingly pointless rants about how they may or may not end up like Boston fans. As Barry said, they get until their parade and then they can go fuck themselves (paraphrasing).

or you can be like New York City, where any sports title is immediately forgotten

Then wake up the next morning and vow to find exciting new topics of conversation that do not involve goats, Harry Caray, or memorable encounters with Ryne Sandberg.

“But in truth, there is no curse more regrettable than becoming the Boston of the Midwest.”

I’m wearing this shirt today because I kick people when they’re down.