That, right there, is my vision of hell. I love babies, I love my baby, but 4 toddlers? Oof. That is karma right there.

But are they really? How many lawyers do you know that are genuinely happy with their work? Even my friend who gets to work on awesome civil liberties cases with his super-progressive firm still works horrible life-sucking hours.

But but but... at least your hometown was cool? Also, I’m a firm believer in nice facades hiding crappy foundations — who knows what lurks behind that apparently perfect life in Portland?

Yeah, in that case I just hope that their Facebook just makes them look much happier than they actually are. There were several families in my hometown that hid addictions of all sorts under Hallmark-card veneers; you never really know what’s going on behind closed doors. Also, I go with the “Grandma Moses” theory of…

Wow. I guess her true colors were apparent early on?

How does one become a “Former Ohio Girl”? Presumably one is always from Ohio?

I am still waiting for a couple of my high school bullies to be arrested for running meth labs out of their trailer park homes. Every Facebook post that confirms that they are instead living apparently normal, crime-free lives is a small disappointment. I comfort myself with the knowledge that they’re all living…

The best wedding planning advice I received was “don’t read any wedding magazines.” I see that advice is still valid.

I actually own a bone folder from my work study job in college, in which I repaired damaged books from the art library. It IS incredibly useful when you need to make a super-crisp fold.

Actually, I’m pleasantly surprised there aren’t more clerks like her in Kentucky.

Huh. Mine looked like a screaming elf baby. The ultrasound tech even said, “We try to make them look better than that.”

I was complaining to my husband this weekend about how AA used to make these awesome cotton jersey skirts. I would buy 2-3 every summer and wear them almost every day with tanks and t-shirts. “They quit making them?” he asked. I checked their website and confirmed that no, they no longer made their awesome cotton…

This is the best explanation of how he does it that I’ve found:

Watch Young Donald Trump Eat Pizza and Joke About Divorce

Here you go!

Based on your response above — “If you’re going to unload it on others on regular basis don’t breed” — you seem to hold them in equal contempt. Along with children, based on your use of “it” to describe children and “breed” to describe the act of having them. Based on that, I don’t know why I’m responding to you…

In my case, yes — I split household expenses with my husband, including the cost of daycare. If I stayed home, we’d no longer have to pay for daycare, but we’d still have to pay our rent, insurance, utilities, and all of the other monthly bills. My salary plus my husband’s salary minus daycare is still more than my…

Yeah, fuck all those people who can’t afford to live on one partner’s salary and yet want to have kids. Just who do they think they are?

Okay, this is a dumb question: I’ve worn moisturizer/sunscreen religiously every day since I was 20, but my nighttime ritual also dates from around then. So I have never moisturized my face at night. I wash it and apply some sort of acne medication if necessary, and that’s... it? Do I need to be doing something else?…

I should know better, but I googled “Mwangaguhunga” to see if it was real. And it is! According to the Times, it is pronounced “mah-WON-gah-goo-HOON-gah”. Fred also has three-year-old triplets.