"Well, really, mine is much more comfortable — Phillip, for goodness' sake, give the nice man his sword. You know you're only allowed to use the blunted ones."

My primary grievance with aran sweaters is that they're often itchy. I assume Alec Baldwin feels the same.

"I am a mostly raw vegan pacifist martial artist."

"I feel as though we'll always be in the honeymoon period. We always say we really like to treat each other like it's our birthday. I try to treat him like it's his birthday every single day. I think we'll always be like that. We always try to make life as fun and enjoyable as possible."

Sorry :(

I hate to say it, but you've totally heard a Lady Antebellum song — that one with the warbling chorus "It's a quarter after one/ I'm a little drunk / and I need you now" is by them. It was EVERYWHERE in 2010-2011.

Am I alone in never getting the point of Google Glass? Is it supposed to be an improvement over accessing the internet on a smartphone or tablet? If so, how? No one's ever satisfactorily explained to me why I should want a screen in front of my face at all times. I already spend all day looking at my computer…

I'm guessing they have evidence that he was responsible for the threats and chalk outlines left at the UW sororities, but it's not clear from the article.

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one with a pathological fear of voicemail. (I'm 34 - I'm never sure if I'm the end of Gen X or the beginning of Gen Y.) I associate voicemails with bad or unwelcome news, but I figure no one's going to text and tell me that someone's died. I literally have to force myself to…

Pfft, they forgot to mention how much you can save by sending the invitations by email instead of by raven. It's more environmentally friendly, too.

I had a Sarah too! Mine was abetted by the middle school gym coach, who strictly enforced the "8 people at a table" rule during lunchtime. Guess whose class had 9 girls in it? 8 of whom had known each other since preschool?

That's not a dress, that's a pelvic dust flap.

Ayup. The one that kept posting pictures of bloody fetuses got defriended real quick.

Wow, that's awesome - I mean, terrible for the cashier, but it's nice to have your suspicions about someone's character confirmed, I suppose.

You can still look at their pictures! Or refriend them! It's never too late to cultivate a frenemy!

At least she's not in movies? I think those are still considered more glamorous.

The star quarterback at my football-obsessed school ended up, like, the fourth string in college. I think he got 20 minutes of playing time, total. That was pretty satisfying.

Yep, and they're all still within 20 miles of my hometown! Which was my worst nightmare. Even if they're fine with it, I still feel like I won.

I will admit to only joining Facebook so that I could see what had happened to certain popular people from my high school whom I had loathed. And lo, I was not disappointed.

Yes, but does Prince William get to eat all that Toblerone?