My friend just told me that if you're pregnant with a girl, you have more morning sickness than if you're pregnant with a boy. I'm just having constant low-grade nausea but no vomiting, so I assume I'm having a troll doll.

I realize this is no laughing matter and things will probably end very poorly for the Biebs, but I read this and pictured him as some sort of droopy-pantsed Canadian sprite*, skipping merrily through his gaudy house, sprinkling weed and codeine everywhere.

I think she looks much happier and healthier now that she's not living with her (allegedly) abusive mom. As for age-appropriateness - please. That dress is beautiful.

And Amy Smart this season! And Alicia Witt! And I might as well admit my shameful crush on Boyd Crowder. Yes, he's a murderous pyschopath, but he's a LOVING murderous psychopath.

Congratulations! This is my first, too. A friend warned me that I'd notice that my breasts were suddenly very tender — that was my first clue. That and the random bursts of tears at soppy internet videos. I think my doctor gave me very good advice: "If you're the sort of person who goes online and looks everything…

Yep, I'm about 5 weeks along. So far I've been surprised by the heat (SO. HOT.), the peeing, and now, the weird toe-curling leg cramps. Not the good type of toe-curling, unfortunately.

Do hangovers come with bizarre nighttime leg cramps? Because that's what I was googling last night at 2 a.m.

My love for this speech is compounded by the fact that she used the word "scuppered" in it. Scuppered!

"Who are you going to believe, me or your frozen extremities?"

So when does Shia LeBeouf cross the line from "annoying douchebag" to "probably mentally ill"? Pulling out your own tooth for a role sounds pretty close to me.

This is indelicate, but they're born head-first, right?

I'm pretty sure that if you think you're going to heaven during the Rapture, you're not.

For a gleeful moment I thought that "Ariana Grande" was an anagram of "Adrian Grenier", and that he was actually dating himself. Sadly, you can only spell "Arian Grnde" with his name, or "Adrian Gren" with hers. Curses.

I was going to post this video out of the misconception that dung beetles also use earth's magnetic field, but apparently they use the sun and moon to orient themselves. But I like how the narrator pronounces the word "beetle," so here it is anyway.

Just chiming in to note that Warm Bodies is awesome. "Don't be creepy, don't be creepy...."

Does anyone else find Pinterest to be an endless sucking vortex of re-pins? I briefly toyed with it, but I got frustrated by my inability to find the source of anything. Where is the recipe for the cheese dip? Where is the pattern for the adorable knitted boot cuffs? Where is the dog sporting that beanie? …

Why do guys like Ablow always go straight (heh) to incest as the inevitable outcome of allowing gay marriage? Does he have a battered, dog-eared copy of "Flowers in the Attic" tucked under his mattress?

I always thought of it as a hot mess in a skillet - like, when you've just thrown everything in the fridge into your omelet. It may be tasty, but it's definitely not attractive.

Sadly, I know about this phenomenon from my dog. Her name is Presley, but we usually call her P-Bear, Presley-Bear, Pup-pup, or some other derivation of her name. I do like to think that if her name was cutesy, we'd call her "Dog."

But if you name your child "Bear," what cutesy nickname do you give him? Do you end up saying things like "Who's my cutesy bootsy baby Daniel? Are you my teeny tiny little Daniel? Yes you are! Yes you are my little Daniel!"