“I’m being goosed by the Boomer back here.” 

I started coming here 14 years ago because of an article Leitch wrote about Kyle Orton getting drunk in an Iowa bar. https://deadspin.com/bear-down-chicago-bear-128831 . And I’ve come here practically every day since, and jesus what’s wrong with me?

This is dumb but also beautiful. 

I went to an Orioles game at Camden Yards a couple weeks ago, and was actually very impressed by the lack of the usual flag-humping cop and soldier idolatry that goes on at the usual American sporting event these days. Around the 5th inning, when other ballgames I’ve been to usually honors some veteran by thanking him…

Holy cow, Maritime! “Someone Has To Die” was a staple of my circa-2004 mixes. Don’t see them get referenced too often these days. Or those days. 

Ah shit, I forgot to add “A foul pole can’t be homophobic” to the list of obvious replies that I don’t give a fuck about. (Although a foul pole does think it’s fair when a ball touches it, so maybe it’s not homophobic after all.) 
Have you met ivoryman50? You guys should be friends. 

It’s a professional sport. They play all their matches in exchange for money. That’s the profession. I guess they could stop playing matches for money, just cancel the whole thing, maybe convert the whole enterprise into a ceramics factory, but then someone might burn their hand on the kiln. So what’s even the point…

Somebody better send him a link to the recent Adrian Peterson news. 

Stop.

They’re the anti-Twins, who’ve gone from unsustainably great to extremely sustainably mediocre in the last month and a half. 

I’m not a seasoned MLS watcher, but for what little I’ve seen of Atlanta play this year (kinda watched them against one of the NY teams on a bar TV a couple weeks ago), they seem extremely unlikable. From their dumb gold spike pregame thing, to just the kinda creepy entitlement of the fanbase, to the fact that they’re…

This is really one of the more amazing sports things to happen in a long time, bummer it happened in the middle of the night for most of the country who won’t hear about it until Monday, if they do at all. 

Shit, the last century of professional sports have been awfully boring. Why bother having teams at all? Why not just line up every player before each game, flip a coin and have the captain pick their teammates? Then play shirts/skins, first to 50 wins, then pick new teams for the second half? Trophy goes to whoever…

It’s truly not that complicated! Like, I’m not an expert by any means, and I only watch once every 4 years or so, but yo, just watch a YouTube video explainer and you’ll get it. I could probably copy and paste this for a dozen more comments in this article, but here it is!

I was excited when this tournament started, because I watched quite a lot of the last one 4 (?) years ago. This comes of course with all the standard American “Gosh I don’t know much about this sport but it seems interesting blah blah blah,” but once you figure out what’s happening, a couple of the matches in the last…

How dare that fucking loser even try to make a defensive play! Only the rankest piece of human trash would attempt to get over and make a pretty solid attempt at getting position between the offensive player and the basket, as the horseshit rules of this otherwise cool game allow! And then to take a small bit of…

Is DeMarcus Cousins good? I’ve been hearing for a decade about how DeMarcus Cousins is good, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched him and said, “Wow, he’s good.” It looks like he never led the league in much other than Offensive Rebounds in his second year, and Personal Fouls (oops) a couple other years. He seems like…

/James Harden signs 10 year contract with the MLS

Alternatively, he gets fouled on purpose, whines endlessly when not fouled, and loses in the playoffs.

I moved to a Mets-friendly area of NYC this year, and I was thinking it might be fun to maybe follow them and pick them up as a NL rooting interest. About a month into the season I realized this was a completely joyless exercise (not even Pete Alonso could help) and I scrapped the charade entirely. What a miserable…