Just because

At this point, be glad they aren't the Seattle Bucks (Star-bucks?).

but did you actually read all the words

I think the preferred term is "weapon of choice for people who mass murder elementary school students."

At least someone in the family is well-armed.

Like most gun owners, she's just using it to try to overcome her feelings of inaccuracy.

(Angrily tears up Super Bowl ticket)

How the hell are they planning to play the game without footballs?

Poles, Sticks, Missile-like objects of any kind

I liked these logos before they became "cool."

Prolly not the only tip qualls is slammin' tonight.

They need to send Rick Sutcliffe over there and fix that thing.

Millen: I’m telling you man…. receivers man… receivers.. they are going to start taking over the league man, I can see it…you can probably just draft a team of all receivers man… and you’d win… they’d be all like “throw me the ball man” and you’d throw them the ball because they’d be everywhere… totally…

"Oh man, what if football ... was no good... at me?"

Aaaaaaand.....we're done here. +1

The video may be vertical, but at least the fan was 16:9

This is just unacceptable. A vertical cell phone video? In 2014? Seriously? Turn your phone sideways when you record, people. We're not animals.