15-year-old me finds nothing wrong with these texts.

QBR in the low 100s? Consistently?

Seems to have the entire goal to shoot on, yet chooses to nail his teammate right in the shoulder

nerdy Bill Simmons?

Too lazy to read the actual text of either bill, but if my math is correct:

Dammit, Ally. Don’t go making me feel good feelings about Geno.

That’s Frank “Six Picks” Kaminsky to you

You forgot the -1

Because those are the rules. Why are they kicking a ball instead of a herring?

How fun was thinking up all of those nicknames?

That’s a cute one

Snyder looks like bizarro Colbert.

This comment is magic.

Registered 3,643 domains and no one had the foresight to opt for a domain privacy service?

Furs?

Something is definitely afoot in Buffalo.

Filed to: SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!

Alex Smith has really let himself go.

Wiki says it wasn’t broadcast live. Why they decided to show the footage later in the day is beyond me.

+ 6-1